


The proposition

by ladyblah



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Virginity, sex pact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23961406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyblah/pseuds/ladyblah
Summary: Devi Vishwakumar only has two dreams: to lose her virginity and to be accepted into Princeton. The first dream is more urgent.After Paxton Hall-Yoshida turns down Devi's de-flowering proposition, she brings it to Ben Gross instead. Granted, they are mortal enemies (well, most of the time) but Devi's curiosity gets the better of her...This story starts an alternate to 1x08.
Relationships: Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Comments: 138
Kudos: 725





	1. The proposition

Devi Vishwakumar wasn’t new to humiliation. This was a girl who had propositioned a total stranger with sex. This was a girl who had been mauled by a wild coyote in front of her classmates. This was a girl who had tried to hit on a gay guy.

But it was in _this_ particular moment, standing fully clothed in a swimming pool at her nemesis’s house party, following an public fight with her two best friends, that Devi felt she'd reached a new low.

As Devi watches Eleanor and Fabiola walk off to clean off some of Trent’s ball punch, a hand appears in front of her and pulls her out of the pool.

“Are you okay?” says Ben, taking off his jacket and placing it around her shoulders.

“Yeah. Fine.”

“That was a crazy nerd fight,” says Shira in her trademark vocal fry. Devi looks around the party in embarrassment until she realises everyone has immediately lost interest and gone back to their drinks. _This generation really does have a short attention span,_ she thinks.

Shira starts tugging on Ben’s arm. “I’m bored. Let’s go makeout in your parents' room.”

“I have to help Devi,” he says. “She needs to change out of these clothes or she’ll freeze.”

Shira rolls her eyes. “Fine, I’m gonna go take selfies from your balcony," she says, walking away.

“Can’t believe you’d miss the chance to makeout with your girlfriend to help your sworn enemy,” says Devi quietly.

"Well I can't have you taking attention away from me, it's _my_ party," he says, before shrugging. “Besides, most of the time when Shira says ‘make-out’ she means taking flattering photos of herself with me kissing her cheek, to show how adored she is,” he explains.

He gestures for Devi to follow him inside the house. She drips a trail of water behind her and sees Paxton standing by Trent, watching her. She catches what she thinks is a sympathetic look from him before he whispers something to Trent and they laugh. It wasn’t sympathy, he was embarrassed for her. She was a tragic, pathetic disaster.

Devi follows Ben past the party goes deeper into his house, up the stairs and to his bedroom. It’s exactly what she expected – trophies, books, basketball posters and expensive looking linen. As Devi stands there taking mental notes of anything embarrassing she could use for future burns, Ben appears from his ensuite and hands her a towel. He walks to his closet and thumbs through his clothes, picking out a sweater and shirt.

“I’m shredded and much taller than you so they might not fit,” he says, handing them over. “I’ll leave you to get changed.”

As he’s closing the door, Devi turns to face him. “Why are you being nice to me?”

Ben looks at his feet sheepishly. "Your family was nice to me when I had a shitty day," he says. "The least I could do is return the favour.” He smiles and closes the door.

Devi dries herself off and slips on the shirt and sweater. The shirt is long and comes to her knees, but it makes an acceptable dress. She notices that they smell nice too, kind of woody, like sandalwood.

Devi opens the door and finds Ben waiting patiently in the hall. He runs his eyes over her new outfit, and something in his gaze makes her blush.

“Do I look okay?” she says “Weirdly, your clothes almost fit perfect.”

“That’s not emasculating at all,” Ben says sarcastically.

She holds up her own dress, balled up in her hand and dripping water. “Do you have something I can put this in?”

He retrieves an old shopping bag from a drawer and hands it to Devi.

She sits on the edge of his bed, remembering the look on her friends’ faces, and how Paxton pretended not to see her, and she wants to cry.

“Sorry for ruining your birthday,” she says to Ben. “I didn’t mean to make it about me.”

“Don’t worry, these people aren’t really here for me anyway,” says Ben. “Lucas Jones, who has been in classes with me since the second grade, told me “Happy birthday _Brendan_.”

Devi laughs, but still feels lousy.

“You sure you're okay?” says Ben.

Devi sighs. “Would be it alright if I just hung out here for a minute? I’m not ready to face them downstairs.”

“Of course.” Ben takes a seat on his bed next to her. They both look straight ahead and neither seems to know what to say.

“You don’t have to stay with me,” says Devi, breaking the awkward silence. “If you need to go find Shira or whatever.”

“Shira will be more than happy taking selfies with her friends.” Ben pauses. “Unless you want me to go? Shit, I’m sorry, I totally misread that! I’m lingering,” he starts to stand up but Devi pulls on his arm.

“No – stay. I mean, if you want. It’s your room,” she says clumsily. “But it would be nice if you stayed.”

Ben sits back down. “I’d understand if you wanted me to leave, given what happened earlier,” he says, sounding a little embarrassed. “Don’t worry, I wont try kiss you again. Being rejected twice in one night was more than enough for me.”

Devi’s not sure why, perhaps it was his kindness or that they were both feeling vulnerable, but she wanted to tell him her secret.

“Hey,” she begins, “you think that's embarrassing? I promise my story is worse.”

Ben looks at her, intrigued.

“You know that rumour about me and Paxton? It started because I waited for him after swim team practice and asked him to have sex with me. It was the first time we had ever spoken. I just blurted it out like a psychopath.”

She smiles at Ben, and sees he's trying really hard to stifle a laugh.

“Its okay, you can laugh,” she says, and they both start chuckling at her ridiculousness.

“Oh my god,” says Ben. “What did you do when he said no?”

Devi gives him a smug look. “Actually, he said yes.”

“What!?” Ben erupts into laughter again. “That is _insane_... but I thought you said you didn’t actually have sex? Oh right, you touched his chest and bailed.”

“Yup. I had the chance to have sex and I freaked out,” says Devi, before adopting a more serious tone. “Guess I’m just a tragic virgin with no friends.”

Ben drops his smile and looks at Devi warmly. “Hey, you still have friends, you just need to give it time and they’ll forgive you. And I’m your friend too. Kind of.”

Devi smiles.

“High school’s the worst isn’t it?” Ben says, exhaling.

“You got that right,” says Devi. “Between the acne, the high school rumour mill, and controlling parents who don’t let you leave the house – oh shit! What time is it!?”

Devi reaches over and grabs Ben’s wrist to check his watch.

“I need to call a Lyft,” she says, picking up her stuff from the floor, “I'm not supposed to be here and if I'm not home before my mom she's literally going to murder me.”

“I can take you.”

“Ben, you’ve already done enough. You’ve literally clothed me. And you've been drinking!”

“It’s fine, I’ve only been drinking non-alcoholic punch all night, I can drive you. My dad left his Porsche Cayenne here, the only crime would be _not_ to drive it.”

In the car, Devi sneaks glances at Ben under the passing streetlights. He’s very serious when he drives, and Devi thinks it’s cute how his brow furrows. He drives like a grandpa. He keeps his hands firmly on the wheel at all times, and never gets anywhere near the speed limit.

“Do I have something on my face?” He asks while continuing to look straight ahead at the road.

“Huh?” says Devi.

“You keep staring at me, what is it?”

“Nothing,” she says quickly, averting her eyes out her window.

She thinks about what he said about the non-alcoholic punch, and how that means he lied about being drunk when he tried to kiss her, which is a weird thing to lie about.

They pull into her driveway and she checks the clock on her phone: 10.58pm.

“Well that’s modern miracle,” she teases, unfastening her seatbelt, “considering how slowly you drive.”

“David, the speed limit is exactly that – a _limit_ ,” says Ben defensively. “You’re supposed to drive below it.”

Devi shakes her head and smiles, holding her damp dress and shoes in her lap.

“Sorry again for ruining your birthday,” she says. “I’m sure you didn’t want to spend it rescuing your nemesis from a pool.”

Ben shrugs. “To be honest I was kind of glad to have an excuse to leave for a bit, I wasn’t really enjoying it.”

“At least I got a cute outfit out of it,” says Devi, gesturing to Ben’s clothes she’s wearing. “Am I crazy or am I actually pulling off the oversized t-shirt dress look?”

Ben looks her up and down and smiles. She remembers what he said before about not trying to kiss her again, and wonders if that was a hard, definitive rule he had imposed. The look he’s giving her is the opposite of how Paxton looks at her. She thinks about the humiliation she felt when Paxton changed his mind about her de-flowering proposition, and wonders if she should have brought it to Ben first. Granted, they are mortal enemies and she hates him (sort of, most of the time). There was also the small problem of his having a girlfriend. Still, ultimately Devi is just a regular horny teenager, and her curiosity gets the better of her.

“Hey Ben, can I ask you something?”

“I told you I’m not trading Model UN-” he begins, not missing a beat.

“It’s not that,” says Devi. Ben looks at her, and the intensity of his gaze starts to make her self-conscious. “Can you close your eyes while I say this? I think it would be easier if you weren’t staring at me.”

Ben makes a confused face but does as instructed, and leans back in the driver’s seat, shutting his eyes. “Better?”

“Thanks. I was just wondering if, in some alternate universe, I had asked you instead of Paxton to, you know… what I said earlier.”

She thinks she sees Ben’s cheeks turn a bit pink. “Uh-huh,” he says carefully.

“Do you think you would ever have considered…helping me?”

Devi watches Ben closely but he is completely still, his face giving no indication of an expression. A painfully long silence falls between them.

“Did you hear what I said?” asks Devi.

Ben slowly opens his eyes and turns to look at her. “Are you asking…”

But before he can finish the sentence, they both jump out of their seats startled half to death by Devi’s mom knocking frantically on the passenger window.

“I knew it!” Nalini says. “I give you one rule to stay at home tonight and what do you do!? Sneak out of the house!”

“Mom, lower your voice or you’ll wake the neighbours,” says Devi, dying of embarrassment. “This isn’t what it looks like – Ben was just giving me a ride home, I swear.”

“Hi Mrs Vishnakumar,” says Ben, giving a small wave from the driver’s side.

“Hello Benjamin,” says Devi’s mom warmly, before turning back to Devi. “Well obviously I know this boy hasn’t been impregnating you in the backseat of his car. Benjamin is far too smart and respectable to get involved in such cliché teenage scandals. I trust him completely. You, on the other hand, I have no trust in whatsoever. Now get inside so we can have a long talk about rules and curfews.”

Devi does as instructed, walking barefoot behind her mother into the house with her shoes and dress in hand. At the front door she turns to watch Ben pull out of the driveway and mouths a quick thank you. He smiles and responds with a small nod.

As Devi changes out of Ben’s clothes and into her pyjamas, she thinks how for the first time in her life, she was actually glad that her mother interrupted her before she did something truly stupid and embarrassing. She knows she needs to focus on fixing things with her two best friends before starting a new drama with her arch nemesis (even if he is really cute).

But that mature perspective goes right out the window when she gets a text from Ben as she’s falling asleep.

“Hey,” he writes. “About your proposition…”


	2. The agreement

**BEN: Hey, about your proposition… that was a hypothetical right?**

Devi sits up in bed and turns on her reading light. She was about to doze off, but Ben's message has made her wide awake.

_DEVI: Of course_

She chews on her fingernails anxiously and watches the three dots next to Ben's name on her screen. 

**BEN: Well then, in answer to your question, hypothetically I think I would have said yes**

Devi has to re-read this text message multiple times to really take in what it says. It was unexpected, to say the least. And considering how red her cheeks are getting just reading his words on her phone, she feels a profound sense of stupidity that she ever thought this was a conversation she was capable of having in person, in his car.

**BEN: In this hypothetical I would have to longer be dating Shira**   
_DEVI: Of course. That makes sense_   
**BEN: And it would probably have to be kept a secret (you know what our school is like)**   
_DEVI: Boy do I._

Neither of them texts anything for ages, and Devi wonders if she should never have brought this up in the first place.

**BEN: So is this proposal one that you plan on running past every guy in our school?**

Devi smiles, relieved that he's able to joke about it. It helps her relax.

_DEVI: Of course. Like any arrangement I need to do due diligence and make sure I get the best deal_   
**BEN: So who am I up against? Any other takers?**   
_DEVI: A couple of leads. Eric Perkins would probably do it in exchange for Eleanor’s phone number. Marcus Jones had a serious girlfriend for 6 months so has some decent experience he can bring to the table. Oliver Martinez is good at hand staff, according to a couple of freshmen. And then there's Trent Harrison, supposedly he’s had sex with Simon Norris’ older sister so clearly he… knows stuff_   
**BEN: Lol! I know you’re kidding but it’s still gross**   
_DEVI: In all seriousness, I’ve only mentioned it to you and Paxton. And since he ended up saying no, it really only leaves you._   
**BEN: I see**   
**BEN: But it was a hypothetical**   
_DEVI: Obviously_

The three dots appear next to Ben's name, then disappear again. They come and go multiple times until finally another message comes through.

**BEN: Thanks for coming to my party tonight, even if it didn’t turn out how either of us expected. See you at you school**   
_DEVI: Happy Birthday Ben. See you round_

Over the next few weeks at school, Eleanor and Fabiola continue to give Devi the cold shoulder. In class, they make sure you to avoid any situation where they could be put together with Devi for group projects, and in the hallway they avoid eye contact altogether.

As for Ben, it’s like the night of his birthday party, and their conversation afterwards, had never happened. Devi starts to wonder if she imagined it. Ben doesn’t bring it up again and she certainly wasn’t going to either. Instead, they fall back into their usual routine of being competitive dicks to one another in every class they share. Devi’s used to it though – and in a way it feels normal. Comforting, really.

One day after school, Devi decides she’s had enough of her friend fight and writes a letter to Eleanor and Fabiola. To impress Eleanor in particular, Devi knows she needs to be a little extra and use glittery pens and fancy paper, but she keeps the message serious and sincere:

_Dear Eleanor and Fabiola. I hate that we’re not talking right now and I really miss you guys. I’m sorry for how I’ve behaved lately – you were both right, I should have been there for you when you needed me. I don’t deserve friends like you but if you take me back, I promise to never take you for granted again. Love always, your friend Devi._

The next day at school, as Devi's slipping a the note into each of their lockers, she sees Ben approaching. He's sweaty and nervous looking.

“David," he says, in a tone like he's about to give her bad news.

“Hey Gross," says Devi, raising an eyebrow. "What the hell happened to you? You look like you just got a B on a maths test.”

“Please," he scoffs. “We both know that would never happen. Can I talk to you for a sec?”

He gestures to the empty music room behind him, and Devi follows him in. When he trips over a music stand by the door, Devi reaches for the lightswitch.

“Don't!” he says, swatting her hand away. “It’s best if people don’t know we’re in here.”

“What's going on, Gross? Are you trying to recruit me to a weird cult? A pyramid scheme? Do you need me to help you murder somebody?”

“Shira’s going to Asia for a month," he says finally.

But he doesn’t say anything else. In fact, Devi notices the way he says it is very matter-of-fact, and not in the sad or disappointed tone you’d expect from someone who’s girlfriend was going away.

“That's random," says Devi, referring to both that Ben was telling her this news, as well as the news itself. "Why?”

“Her dad’s from Armenia – that’s why she says she has such a strong affinity for the Kardashians. They’re going back to see family, followed by some sightseeing.”

“Okay…” Devi has no idea what to do with this information or what her reaction is supposed to be. “That’s….cool?”

“I guess it got me thinking,” says Ben, fidgeting with a nearby microphone stand, “about our conversation the other week.” He waits for Devi to put the pieces together but she doesn’t. “Your proposition?” he says finally.

Devi’s eyes widen when she realises what they’re talking about. “Oh. Right. That.”

“Yeah,” says Ben quietly. “Remember, I said the circumstances would need to be that Shira was out of the picture, which she is now.”

“Okay," says Devi, "but you also said it would need to be a secret.”

Ben looks around the dark, empty classroom they’re meeting in.

“I see,” says Devi. “That’s kind of messed up though right? I mean, Shira’s only on vacation, won’t she care if you hook up with someone while she’s away?”

Ben shakes his head, “Doubt it, she's actually the one that insisted we, quote, “take a break” during her vacation, which makes me think she’s planning on hooking up with some European dude. Or _dudes._ ”

“Yikes,” says Devi, “I’m sorry.”

Ben shrugs. Again, he’s taking it pretty well for a guy who’s essentially been dumped for a month.

Devi starts pacing, running through this hypothetical proposition in her head.

“Okay, let’s say we did this – _if_ we did this,” she emphasises, “how would we even…”

“You could come over to my house. Ideally tomorrow – my parents will be out and Patty doesn’t work Thursdays.”

“Tomorrow…" Devi tries to hide the shyness in her voice. "That’s kind of soon isn’t it?” 

“Four weeks isn’t a long time,” says Ben, “the sooner we can start the better.”

They both stop and stare at each other, absorbing all the parts of this conversation. Devi was nervous - partly because the last time she tried this with Paxton, things didn't go according to plan, and partly because her relationship with Ben was different. They were enemies/sometimes friends. That said, she really didn't want to be a virgin by the time she got to college, and who knows when the next offer for sex will come along.

“You really want to do this?” she says finally, with all the faux confidence she can muster. “I've already had a previous participant bail, so I’m interested in serious offers only.”

“Just helping out a friend,” says Ben. “So tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

Ben is the first to head for the door, before Devi stops him one last time.

“What happens when Shira gets back?" she says. "I don’t want to make things awkward for you.”

Ben lingers by the door thinking this over, before turning back to Devi.

“It’ll be fine. It’s just sex right?”

Devi nods. “Right. Just sex.”


	3. The misunderstanding

The next day at school, Eleanor and Fabiola pull Devi aside after History to have a talk. They received Devi’s letters and, eager to get their old friend back, have decided to forgive her and offer her another chance.

“But you can’t lie to us again,” says Fabiola.

“And you need to make more of an effort to be there for us,” adds Eleanor. “I really needed you when I was going through all that stuff with my mom.”

“I know,” says Devi, looking ashamed. “I messed up and if I could take it back I would. I love you guys.”

They have a cheesy three-person best friend hug, but then remember they’re in school and abruptly break apart, not wanting to give their classmates another reason to make fun of them.

“You should come over after school today,” says Fabiola, “we’re gonna do some experiments to find out if Gears Brosnan is truly sentient.”

“Sounds fun,” laughs Devi, “but I shouldn't, I'm probably just gonna go home. My mom's still angry about me sneaking out to Ben’s party.”

Devi hates lying to her friends, but justifies it as being a short-term lie. After everything that went down with Paxton, she didn’t want to prematurely report her sexual adventures before anything had even happened with Ben. But Devi plans on telling them first thing tomorrow (or maybe even later tonight!) after she and Ben have done the deed.

And it wasn’t a total lie – she _did_ have to go home after school, in order to freshen up and change before going to Ben’s house.

Devi shaves her legs, puts on some perfume she stole from Kamala and wears her nicest bra and underwear (her mom would never allow anything truly sexy or lacy, so a “nice” bra for Devi is a purple cotton number with small flowers embroidered on it).

Devi tells Kamala that she’s going to Eleanor’s house but that she’ll back in time for dinner, and sets off on her bike to Ben.

When she arrives, Ben is home alone, as promised. He answers the door projecting an aura of confidence, but his eyes look a bit nervous.

Devi’s grand entrance, on the other hand, isn’t as sexy or cool as she had envisioned. She’s sweaty and flustered from her bike ride, and a little dehydrated.

Sensing her discomfort, Ben gestures to the kitchen. “You want a drink? Water, or a coke maybe? We also have a stockpile of stuff from my mom’s juice cleanse.”

Devi nods and follows Ben through his house. It’s her first time seeing it without crowds of drunken teenagers. It’s very large, empty and clean – the opposite of her home, which is small and filled with photos and knick-knacks.

They take their drinks into the living room and sit side by side on the couch. Devi starts chatting incessantly. She gets a bad case of motormouth when she’s nervous.

“Your parents have a lot of weird art,” she says, looking around the room. “Where do they get it from? I bet it’s expensive. It looks expensive. We have lots of art in my home too but its mostly pictures of our deities. We have a lot of them. Pictures I mean – not deities, though I guess we have a lot of them too. At least compared to other religions that just have one God. Like Judaism. You’re Jewish right? That’s so weird. The 'one God' thing, I mean! Not being Jewish – that’s not weird.”

“David, stop,” says Ben, giving a small, bemused laugh. “It’s okay to be nervous. I’m nervous too. This is… kinda weird.”

“I’m not nervous,” she lies, _nervously_. “Why would I be nervous?” She stands up and walks over to the window to look at his swimming pool. “Should we go for a swim?”

“You’re stalling,” says Ben, smiling at her again. "I haven’t seen you this nervous since your first mock trial.”

Devi exhales deeply and takes a seat next to him on the couch.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to… start this.”

She puts her glass on the coffee table and turns to look at Ben, who is gazing at her lips. He starts leaning in to kiss her, but as soon as she feels his nose on her cheek she jerks her head away. Ben looks away, embarrassed.

“Okay, that’s the third time you’ve done that,” he says, having flashbacks to that night in the screening room. “I’m curious how you expect us to have sex if you won’t even let me kiss you?”

Devi buries her face in her hands.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I just didn’t expect this to feel so… unnatural. I mean, obviously it’s a little unnatural, this is an _arrangement_ – but I thought once I got here I’d be more… in the mood.” She looks at Ben, “Is that weird?”

“Of course not,” he says, “I was never expecting you to start taking your clothes off the second you walked in the door.”

Devi blushes but relaxes at Ben’s words, feeling grateful for his patience. He was taking a very different approach to this whole thing than Paxton.

“How about a tour?” says Ben finally. “You didn’t really get a proper one last time. And I feel like you can really appreciate the design in the day.”

Devi rolls her eyes but is grateful for the distraction. She picks up her drink and follows Ben around his house, starting on the ground floor and working their way upstairs. His house is bigger than she realised, with a few hidden rooms that his parents use as home offices, plus a gym, sauna and a handful of fancy guest bedrooms. There aren’t any framed family photos anywhere – at least not ones that don’t also feature his dad’s famous clients.

Near the top of the stairs, Devi stops to examine a glass cabinet. It’s filled with photos of a younger Ben and all his certificates, medals and trophies. He grins when he sees Devi standing in front of it.

“Yeah I know,” he says, “pretty impressive right?”

Devi turns to him, laughing a little. “More like embarrassing.”

“What?” he scoffs. “No way.”

“Ben, this is literally a shrine to your dorkiness. How did I not notice this the last time I was here? Did you cover it up for your party so people wouldn’t see?” she teases.

“What are you talking about! This is cool. It shows how smart I am and how awesome I am at my extracurriculars.”

“Some of these aren’t even impressive – that one says Most Improved Player in Soccer. It’s literally a prize for sucking less.”

Devi laughs again. Ben makes a mock-offended face. Devi thinks it’s cute.

“You’re just jealous,” teases Ben.

“I’m not jealous. However,” Devi says pointing to one very specific trophy, “I think we both know that one actually belongs to me.”

“Not this again,” says Ben. “I won that Spelling Bee fair and square.”

“I knew how to spell ‘auxiliary’ Ben, the judge misheard me!” Devi yells. “And I know you heard it too and you didn’t back me up! Judas.”

“It’s not my fault you mumbled your words.”

They both smile.

“But for real,” says Devi earnestly, “I think its cool your parents display your stuff like this. Shows that even though they’re not the most attentive people, they’re proud of you. And they should be. You’re great.”

Ben smiles at her, his real smile, not the cocky one he puts on at school, before looking down at his feet. She liked seeing him like this. He was usually so brash and combative with her that she forgets he can actually be sweet.

Feeling a sudden burst of warmth towards him, Devi steps forward, places her arms on his chest and gently presses her lips against his. At first, he doesn’t move at all and she’s worried she’s made a terrible mistake. But after a second or two he starts kissing her back and places a hand on her waist. The kiss is soft and warm and a little clumsy – after all, they’re teenagers and have never done this with each other before. After a few seconds Devi breaks the kiss.

“Should we go to your room and have sex now?” she says.

Ben's hands fly off her waist and he stares at her wide-eyed. Then he starts laughing at her.

“Now?” He asks incredulously, between chuckles.

“Well yeah,” says Devi, confused. “Unless…do you not want to?”

Ben gives Devi an uncomfortable grimace. “Not really, no” he says.

“Fine,” says Devi, feeling angry and embarrassed. “Let’s just forget this whole stupid thing.”

She storms off down the stairs with Ben following close behind.

“Devi, wait. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean – please stop,” he says, catching her by the front door as she slips on her jacket and backpack.

“I didn’t mean I don’t want to have sex with you _ever_ ,” he explains. “I just don’t want to have sex with you _right this minute_. There’s…. a process.”

Devi stares at him. “A process?” she says.

Ben nods. “Yeah. Most people don’t just go from never touching to full on sex. You have to build up to it.”

“But I thought,” Devi begins, embarrassed. “You said to come over today so we could get started right away.”

“Yeah, so we can start on the contract,” Ben says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Devi’s eyes bulge out of her head. “Contract?”

She starts hitting Ben with her backpack.

“YOU ARE SUCH A SKEEVY LITTLE PERVE! I’m not signing any weird sex contract! Deal’s off, Gross – this isn’t 50 Shades of Grey.”

“Stop hitting me, its not like that at all!” says Ben, holding up his hands. “But if my dad taught me anything, it’s that you need to get all agreements in writing.”

Devi stands there and folds her arms, still sceptical.

“Please just wait here, I’ll be back in a minute.” Ben runs up to his bedroom and returns with a piece of paper in hand. “I drew this up last night, here’s your copy to review.”

Devi snatches the paper from Ben and starts scanning it. She picks out phrases like _…This agreement is made and entered into by Benjamin Archibald Gross and Devi Vishwakumar…… The duration of this agreement shall commence from [DATE] to [DATE] , unless terminated by one of the parties…._

“Basically,” Ben explains, “it says that you and I have an arrangement, starting from whatever day we both sign, and terminated in four weeks, the day before Shira gets back.”

Ben nervously scratches the back of his head. “It um, also says you can’t… have similar arrangements with other guys. At least not without terminating this contract. Our arrangement would have to be… exclusive.”

Devi is still reading the contract and starts laughing.

Ben looks at her nervously. “What?”

“Your middle name is Archibald?”

Ben exhales with relief and smiles. “Take your time to read it all over, maybe we can finalise the details tomorrow at school?”

Devi hands the contract back to Ben.

“Sure, but can you email that to me instead? The last thing I need is a physical copy of a sex contract floating around my house for my mom to find.”

“Good call,” says Ben. “I’m like the only guy your mom likes and I’d like to keep it that way.”

He opens his front door for Devi who lingers for a moment.

“Well, thanks for…. I had fun,” she says clumsily.

To her own surprise, Devi has a sudden want for Ben to kiss her goodbye. More surprisingly, he looks like he wants to too. But instead he nervously looks at his feet again.

“Me too. Bye Devi,” he says, and closes the door.

She can’t blame him though. She had literally rejected every kiss he tried to give her.

Well, except one.


	4. The contract

Mr Shapiro is giving a lesson on the civil rights movement. He’s in rare form today – in that he’s actually doing a pretty good job for once, with correct facts and the right level of sensitivity.

Devi, however, misses almost all of it. Instead she spends the entire lesson staring at the back of Ben’s head, trying to sense if he’s acting any differently today. Neither of them has mentioned their kiss yesterday, either in person or over text, which Devi thinks is decidedly weird given it was the first time they had ever done that. It seemed strange to let it pass by without any commentary or feedback. What if Ben didn’t like it? If she did something wrong, she’d like to know so that she can improve and do better next time. Especially since it was going to be a regular occurrence once they sign their contract.

After the bell rings, Ben and Devi hang back in the classroom. Ben pushes two desks together and pulls the contract from his backpack.

“Did you have a chance to read it properly?” he asks.

Devi nods.

“And?” he says, searching her face for a reaction. "Did you not understand some of the jargon?"

Devi rolls her eyes, annoyed. “No! It's just... I thought it was a little light on detail,” she says. “I'd prefer to know about what our strategy is. I mean, you saw how weird I was the last time we tried this without one.”

“Only at first,” says Ben reassuringly, “but eventually we found our footing.”

“I think I need more clarity. You said it’s a ‘process’,” says Devi, “so take me through the process.”

Ben grabs his notebook from his backpack and flips it to a new page.

“Okay then,” he begins, “tell me what your goals are, what do you want to achieve?”

“Lose my virginity,” Devi says matter-of-factly.

Ben makes a ‘duh’ face. “Besides that. I mean, do you want to do other stuff along the way or do you seriously just want to jump straight to the main event?”

He looks at Devi and sees she’s still confused.

“For example,” he continues, scribbling away at the paper, “there’s kissing and making out.”

Even him writing that makes Devi blush, but she tries to force herself not to. She hated herself for being such a lame virgin, but more than that she knows she shouldn’t be blushing about Ben. He’s not hers, he’s Shira’s. _This whole thing is an arrangement,_ she reminds herself. _Be detached. Be dispassionate._

Ben continues writing in his messy teenage boy penmanship, “then there’s second base…”

Devi furrowes her eyebrows. “Which one’s that? I don’t get sports analogies.”

Now it’s Ben’s turn to blush. “It means I would… caress your… chest area.”

“Right,” says Devi scientifically, trying not to think about the fact Ben Gross is talking about touching her boobs.

Ben offers Devi the pen “You’re a participant in this group project too,” he teases, “it can’t just be me deciding everything.”

But Devi didn’t want to write anything. Partly because she felt too self-conscious to do it while Ben was watching her, and partly because she didn’t know what to write.

She gently pushes Ben’s hand away. “You should just write it,” she says, “you have more experience with this stuff than me.”

Ben starts tapping the pen against the desk nervously.

“Let’s not overthink it,” he says, putting pen to paper again. “Third base,” he says quietly as he writes, avoiding eye contact with Devi. “Then the home run – penetrative sex.”

Devi scrunches up her face. “ _Never_ say that again,” she laughs, “you sound like a creepy sex ed teacher.”

Ben rolls his eyes and reaches to sign the contract.

“I just had one more question,” Devi interrupts him, "about the secrecy clause. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to at least tell Eleanor and Fab. They’re my best friends and I hate lying to them.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” says Ben.

“They wont tell anyone, I promise.”

Ben makes a face. “They told me about you and Paxton, didn’t they?”

Devi forgot about that. She knows they only told Ben to come to her defence, but what’s to stop them from doing it again?

“How about a compromise,” suggests Ben. “You can’t tell them now, but it’s probably okay for you to tell them _after_ – though you should still swear them to secrecy.”

Devi realises that by ‘after’ Ben means _after they have sex_ , and she begins to fidget with her hands nervously.

“If that’s agreed, we can sign,” says Ben. He scribbles his signature on the paper and hands the pen to Devi. After she signs, he slips the contract into the notebook and tucks it safely into his backpack again.

“Now I just need to get this notorized and we’ll be in business,” he says. Devi looks horrified and Ben starts laughing. “Joking.” he says. “ _Obviously_.”

Devi rolls her eyes. “So now what?” she asks.

“We could hang out this afternoon?” Ben says, looking hopeful.

“Two days in a row?” Devi says. “No way, my mom would get suspicious.”

“Friday then?” he asks. “I’ll be home alone, you could come over to my place again.”

“Friday it is,” she says.

Devi picks up her stuff and quickly leaves the classroom. She finds Eleanor and Fabiola outside eating lunch in the sun.

“What were you doing talking to Gross?” says Eleanor as Devi approaches. Devi responds with her best ‘confused’ face.

“We saw you guys in the classroom together,” says Fabiola, “you working on an extra credit assignment together or something?"

“Yes!” says Devi, seizing the cover story that was just handed to her. “It’s just a small project.”

“Well that sucks,” says Eleanor, “I mean, that you have to spend extra time with him.”

“Yeah,” says Devi, trying her best to sound disappointed. “That guy’s the worst.”

The next day at school, Ben and Devi get into an argument during English class. They were analyzing the themes of _The Great Gatsby_ , and Devi and Ben had opposing views. Suffice to say, it got ugly; Ben accused Devi of being illiterate and too dumb to understand the text, while she accused him of being a spoiled rich kid who obviously sympathizes with the horrible rich characters. Devi has been having such a nice time with him lately that she forgot he could also be a dick, especially about school stuff. As the lesson wraps up, the teacher asks Devi and Ben to settle down while she gives out the next assignment.

Fabiola isn’t as good at English as Devi (her expertise is more in science and tech) so she asks Devi and Eleanor if they can have a study session on Friday after school. Not wanting to bail on her friends twice in a row, and to avoid any suspicion, Devi says yes. She texts Ben on the way to her next class.

_DEVI: Hey, turns out I can’t meet up tomorrow after all, I’m having a study session with Eleanor and Fab. Raincheck?_

**BEN: K.**

She watches for another message to come through, but it never does. Thinking he’s worried that she’s getting cold feet again, Devi sneaks her phone out in her next class and flicks him another text.

_DEVI: No really, we’re studying._   
**BEN: It’s fine.**   
**BEN: What about today?**   
_DEVI: Can’t, have an appointment. How about Saturday?_   
**BEN: K.**

Devi hates this. Is that a ‘k’ about the appointment? Or about Saturday? If it’s the latter, is it a yes or a no? Devi tries to catch Ben’s attention in between classes for the rest of the day but he never seems to be looking in her direction. He’s definitely avoiding her.

Devi, however, doesn’t have time to think about this now, she needs to get to Dr Ryan’s office.

Devi doesn’t plan on bringing up her arrangement with Ben, but Dr Ryan asks a lot of questions about maturity and growth which sort of leads Devi there. And it’s technically not a breach of the secrecy clause, due to doctor patient confidentiality.

Devi only tells Dr Ryan the abridged version of course – that she approached a nice guy in her class with her sex proposition and he said yes. The paperwork is done, now it’s on. Devi feels proud of the maturity she’s shown in this new formal arrangement, with paperwork and everything, compared to the on-the-fly way she tried to do it with Paxton.

“I took your advice Dr Ryan,” she says proudly. “You were right, sex with Paxton wasn’t a good idea.”

Dr Ryan doesn’t look impressed. “Devi, the boy in question wasn’t the thing you needed to change. Do you honestly believe that by losing your virginity you’re going to be transformed into a different person with a different life?”

Devi shrugs. “It can’t hurt to try.”

“It might,” says Dr Ryan. “As for this boy-”

“You’re worried he’s using me? No, he’s not like that. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy.”

“Do you have feelings for him?”

“No,” says Devi, in the tone of absurdity, but a little too quickly and defensively.

“Then that makes it worse,” says Dr Ryan. “This boy, whoever he is, is a complex human being with his own problems and issues, he’s not just an object for you to experiment with. What if he has feelings for you?”

“He has a girlfriend.”

“That’s not what I asked. Have you discussed it?”

“We have a contract,” says Devi, plainly.

“A contract is not an honest and transparent discussion. Devi, I’m worried you don’t know what his feelings or intentions are. Why would a ‘pretty sweet guy’ – your words – jump at the first opportunity to form a sex contract with a classmate?”

“To be nice! He’s just helping me out. And we’re not just classmates, he’s my friend.” Devi remembers the lame ‘K’ text earlier. “Well, kind of.”

“What do your other friends think about this arrangement?” asks Dr Ryan.

Devi is silent.

“You haven’t told them,” says Dr Ryan, answering her own question.

“I’m not allowed to yet, it’s in the contract," says Devi. "But I will in about four weeks. Well, closer to three now I guess.”

Dr Ryan gives an inquisitive look.

“Our contract expires in a month,” explains Devi.

“Why is that?” Dr Ryan narrows her eyes on Devi.

 _Crap,_ thinks Devi. She forgot to mention the part about Shira, and she didn’t feel like bringing it up now.

“We just thought it would give us more incentive if we put a deadline on it,” she lies. “We’re taking a very scientific, dispassionate approach to this whole thing.”

“Losing one’s virginity is not a scientific, dispassionate thing Devi,” says Dr Ryan, sitting up in her chair and looking at her carefully. “At least it shouldn’t be. The urgency you’re placing on this concerns me, and frankly tells me that you’re not ready.”

“You don’t need to worry.” says Devi. “I know what I’m doing.”


	5. The dinner

On Friday afternoon, Devi, Eleanor and Fabiola are setting up their textbooks in Devi’s bedroom for an afternoon study session. Devi keeps checking her phone to see if Ben has texted about meeting tomorrow, but there’s nothing. Just the last, lonely little ‘K’ he sent, taunting her.

As it gets dark, Devi asks Kamala if Eleanor and Fabi can stay for dinner. Kamala says that’s fine, but Devi should text her mom as a heads up. But as Devi is mid-text, she hears her mom’s car pull in.

Devi and her friends go downstairs to set the table for dinner.

“Hello girls,” her mom says, smiling at Eleanor and Fabi as she takes off her coat by the door. “I didn’t realise you were here.”

“I was just texting you,” says Devi, “is it okay if they stay for dinner? Kamala’s made heaps of food, as usual.”

“That’s fine,” says her mom hesitantly, “but I’ve also brought a guest so we’ll need to add another place setting.”

A very embarrassed-looking Ben appears behind Devi’s mom in the doorway, shoulders hunched and with his hands shoved in his pockets.

“Hi,” he says, making eye contact with everyone but Devi.

“Benjamin,” says Kamala excitedly, “good to have you back. You’ll be glad to know the spice level is more manageable this time, I’ve reduced it for Eleanor and Fabiola too.”

Devi quickly turns to her mother. “Mom, can I talk to you?”

“Devi don’t be rude, Kamala’s about to serve,” she says as she gestures for everyone to move to the dining table.

Devi walks up to mother while their guests take their seats, but before she can say anything, her mom holds her hand up to stop her.

“I don’t want to hear it,” her mom says quickly in a low voice, “I ran into Benjamin in the supermarket, he was buying a _frozen microwave dinner for one_. What was I supposed to do!? Let him eat alone in that big house? Who will Heimlich him if he chokes on that disgusting plastic meal?”

“Mom, you can’t just keep inviting my classmates over unannounced-”

“Excuse me? Last I checked I pay the mortgage, so I can invite whomever I like,” she says, pushing Devi towards the dining table. “Now stop making a scene and sit down.”

It is the longest dinner of Devi’s life. Eleanor and Fabiola are being their usual delightful selves, chatting away happily to Kamala and Devi’s mom, but it’s clear they don’t know what to say to Ben. In fact, the only person making any effort to talk to him is Devi’s mom, though he only responds with short one-word answers. He doesn’t say a single word to Devi, or even glance in her direction the whole meal. It makes her feel awful, being given the silent treatment in her own home. She’s starting to wish she never kissed him the other day, and more than that she wishes she hadn’t enjoyed it so much.

When dinner eventually ends, for the first time in her life Devi feels grateful that her mom doesn’t believe in dessert, which means their guests can finally go home. But Kamala brings out some sweets she baked earlier and asks everyone if they want a cup of tea.

“Lovely idea Kamala,” says Devi’s mom, “we can take it in the living room.”

As they make their way there, Devi can’t bear it any longer and turns to Ben.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” she says loudly, putting on a performance for everyone to hear. “It’s about that extra credit assignment for History – there’s one part that’s got me stumped.” She turns to her mom, “is it okay if we just go upstairs for a second?”

“Quickly,” her mom says dismissively, “or your tea will get cold.”

Devi heads upstairs to her room and Ben follows behind. Once she gets there she immediately regrets it – she wasn’t prepared to have a boy in her room and wishes she’d tidied up a bit. Ben Gross doesn’t need to see her bras and underwear strewn across the floor by her laundry hamper.

“Just so you know,” Ben begins as Devi shuts the door behind them, “I didn’t invite myself over or anything weird like that. Your mom was very pushy, I tried to get out of it but she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

His eyes start taking in every aspect of Devi’s room and she feels self-conscious.

“Are we cool?” she asks him, too annoyed to bother with a pretence.

He shrugs. “You tell me.”

“I kinda got the feeling from your text that you’re mad at me or something, but I really was studying tonight,” she says, pointing to the textbooks lying on her floor. “I already bailed on my friends once this week to be with you, and since you won’t let me tell them anything I didn’t want to lie again or make them suspicious.”

Ben looks at his feet. “You sure that’s it? It has nothing to do with what happened the other day?” he says quietly.

“What do you mean?”

He exhales deeply. “In English,” he says finally. “I thought you might be mad about our fight.”

Devi smiles.

“Ben, you seriously thought I was mad about a stupid disagreement over a book? That’s why I bailed on you?” She starts laughing a little. “You’re such a dummy.”

He rolls his eyes and smiles, feeling stupid. “Forget it,” he says, “let’s just go back downstairs.” But then his eyes lock onto something on the other side of Devi’s bedroom and his smile drops.

“No. Fucking. Way,” he says, and pushes past Devi to a shelf in the corner where she keeps her academic prizes and trophies. She tries to grab one of his arms and pull him back.

“Ben, stop, don’t look over there that’s private-”

“You thief!” he says, starting to laugh, “did you steal that from my house!?”

Devi is grabbing at Ben, trying to wrestle him away from the spelling bee trophy.

“If anything you stole it from me first!” she says.

Ben playfully pushes Devi off him. Because they’re the same height, Ben’s gaze always feels very direct on Devi whenever he looks at her, like he was right now.

“How did you even do it without me noticing – is that why you kissed me!?” he says, holding Devi’s arms away by her wrists. “You were distracting me so you could take it!”

“All part of my devious plan,” teases Devi. “Why did you think I propositioned you? I just needed an excuse to get into your house and take it. Worked like a charm.”

Ben's grip loosens on her wrists and Devi stops moving. Ben stares at her lips and shifts closer, slowly tracing his fingers on her arms, making her shiver.

 _“Devi your tea is getting cold!”_ calls Nalini from downstairs, _“Don’t be rude to your beautiful cousin, get down here now – your schoolwork can wait until Monday.”_

Ben doesn't move. His face is inches from Devi's and he keeps looking at her lips.

“We should go,” he says quietly, releasing Devi's arms. She follows Ben downstairs where they join everyone for tea in the living room. Devi rubs her arms to try get rid of the goosebumps.

Later that night, long after everyone has left, Devi is in the kitchen doing the washing up, in between sending texts to Ben. 

**BEN: I want that trophy back**   
_DEVI: You can have it – when you pry it from my cold dead hands_   
**BEN: lol you’re a psycho. Thank your mom again for dinner. I know it was a pity invite but still**   
_DEVI: Will do. By the way, you never answered me earlier. Are you free tomorrow?_   
**BEN: Yeah I’m free. Patty will be here first thing in the morning but after that we’ll have the place to ourselves**

Three dots appear next to his name again. Devi's mom appears in the kitchen.

“I didn’t know you were doing an extra credit assignment,” she says, leaning against the doorframe.

“Just a small one,” says Devi, recycling her earlier lie. “Pretty sure I’ve mentioned it.”

“And Benjamin is doing it too?”

Devi senses danger. Anytime her mom asks lots of questions means trouble.

“I guess,” Devi says, using her most indifferent voice. “It’s not like I keep tabs on him.”

Devi’s phone buzzes against the kitchen counter. As she reaches for it, her mom picks it up first and holds it behind her back.

“Your friends can wait a moment. Devi, I want to ask you something,” she says carefully. “It’s serious, so please don’t lie to me. Has something happened between you and Benjamin?”

Devi nearly drops the dish she’s holding. “What do you mean?” she says, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

“I know you don’t like it when I pry but I’m your mother and I feel protective of you. I could see you were trying to hide it – I figured that’s why you took him upstairs.”

Devi’s heart is beating so fast she thinks her chest is about to explode.

“Devi,” her mom says seriously, “I’m sorry to say it but….That. Boy. Cannot. Stand. You.”

Devi doesn’t move. “What?”

“It’s obvious. I don’t think he spoke a single word to you all night, and he could barely look at you. Is that what you were doing upstairs? Asking him to be nicer to you?”

“In a way,” says Devi, a smile tugging at her lips.

“Well I want to apologise – I should never have invited him over for dinner. I knew you had a rivalry but I thought it was friendly, I didn’t know it was so hostile.” Her mom lets out a long, frustrated breath. “He barely even spoke to me – I think he must have a vendetta against this entire family.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” says Devi, in mock earnest. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

Her mom sighs. “I’m just sorry you have to work on this extra credit assignment with him.” She puts Devi’s phone back on the counter, touches Devi’s shoulder reassuringly and heads off to bed.

Devi checks the message on her phone.

**BEN: For the record, I wanted to kiss you. Tonight in your room, I mean. But I wasn’t sure if it would be weird. I don’t know what the rules are.**

Devi feels as if all her internal organs are melting.

 _Stop it._ She tells herself. _He has a girlfriend, idiot._


	6. The interruption

Devi wakes up Saturday morning to a text message from Ben. It’s a photo of an amazing looking breakfast spread.

**BEN: Patty left breakfast. Better hurry – I can’t promise I’ll save you any**   
_DEVI: Are those almond croissants?_   
**BEN: We get them sent fresh daily**   
_DEVI: DON’T YOU DARE EAT THEM ALL I’m on my way_

As Devi throws on a dress and grabs her purse, her phone buzzes again, but this time it’s not from Ben.

**FABIOLA: Help! Study emergency! I’m trying to go over some practice questions but can’t find my notes from last night!**

Devi quickly opens her laptop and sends Fabiola and email, attaching her notes. She sends Fabiola a text as she runs out the door.

_DEVI: No problem, I got you girl! Check your email, notes attached. Gotta run, but I’ll be home later if you have any questions, just flick me a text. Good luck! X_

When Devi arrives at Ben’s house, no one answers the door. She rings the bell again and waits a few minutes before deciding to just let herself in.

“Ben?” she calls out as she wanders around his living room, “where are you?”

Devi hears music coming from out back and sees the breakfast spread sitting on a table by the swimming pool. She walks through the house onto the pool patio and calls his name again, before picking at the fruit platter on the table.

“Sorry, I was changing,” she hears Ben say behind her. As Devi turns to look at him she nearly chokes on a grape. He’s standing there in swimming shorts and no shirt, with a towel draped around his neck.

“H-hi,” Devi says quietly, using all of her energy to keep her gaze fixed on his face, and not stare at his body. She knew he’d never let her live it down.

“I was hoping to do a few laps before you got here,” he says. “Wanna join me? My dad says it's important to start the day with exercise.”

“I didn’t bring my bathing suit," says Devi dismissively.

“That’s never stopped you before,” Ben says, alluding to the night of his birthday when she fell in.

Devi rolls her eyes. “Ha ha,” she says sarcastically.

“Just go borrow some clothes from my room,” he says, throwing his towel on an empty chair and walking towards the pool, “otherwise you’ll just have to wait until I’m done.”

Not wanting to stand there awkwardly while he swam, Devi did as he suggested and headed up to his room to find some clothes. She opens his drawers hunting out a shirt and some boxer shorts, and finds a t-shirt that says ‘Sherman Oaks High A Capella 2018’ that she knows will annoy him to see her wearing. She slips it on. As she leaves his room, she stops by the door to smell a bottle of cologne on his dresser. It smells like sandalwood. It smells like Ben.

When she returns to the pool, Ben stops swimming and grins when he sees her. He starts shaking his head.

“You just _had_ to pick that shirt didn't you?”

“What’s wrong with it?” says Devi, acting coy. “Does it look bad or something?”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Shut up, you know you always look good.”

Was he flirting with her? Is that allowed? There was no mention of it in the contract.

Devi takes a seat on the edge of the pool, dangling her legs in the water. Ben paddles over to her and reaches a hand up. She lets him guide her further into the water.

“Are you sure we have time for this?” she says.

Ben smiles. “What’s the hurry?”

The spend most of the morning either swimming or sunbathing on the inflatable loungers. When they get hungry, they eat lunch in the grass by the pool, and lie on towels letting the sun dry their skin. They talk _a lot._ About school, about their families, about what TV they watch and what music they listen to. Despite the fact that they’ve known each other since they were kids, this is the first time they’ve talked, _really talked,_ and got to know each other properly.

After they have lunch, Ben suggests they go inside so he can show her a new video game. That’s when she starts to get worried – she’s been here for hours and they haven’t talked about sex once. He hasn’t even tried to kiss her. _Shit, does he just see her as a bro? Did he invite her over just to hang out? If so, then why did he sign the contract?_ After a few minutes, Ben senses something’s bothering Devi.

“We don’t have to play this if you don’t want” he says, resting his controller on the coffee table.

Devi smiles. “It’s fine, it’s just not why I came over, that’s all.”

“It’s all about sex with you huh?” he teases. "Is that all you girls think about?"

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Devi says, embarrassed. “That came out wrong.”

“I’m not a piece of meat, David.”

She starts laughing and places her controller next to Ben’s. “Neither am I – you should remember that the next time you check me out in the pool.”

“Excuse me?” Ben says, “I saw the way you looked at me in my swim shorts, if anyone should complain about being objectified it’s me.”

“I was just shocked that’s all,” says Devi. “You’re surprisingly toned for a dude in acapella.”

“David, if you’re gonna keep talking shit about acapella I’m gonna have to take my shirt back,” he says. “That’s just the rules.”

“You wouldn't dare,” she says, threateningly. Ben moves towards her, and at first she thinks he’s reaching for her shirt but instead he cups her face in his hand and kisses her. It’s gentle at first, like he’s asking for permission, but when she kisses him back he deepens it and starts moving his lips against hers. That’s when she realises that their kiss the other day wasn’t just a one off – Ben Gross is a truly, genuinely fantastic kisser. _Lucky Shira. Stupid Shira._

When Devi feels Ben’s hands on her waist she breaks the kiss and looks at him.

“Where’s your notebook?” she asks.

“What?” he says breathlessly.

“For the list,” she says “so we know what to do.”

Ben starts grinning against her lips. “David. Can you do me a favour? Stop overthinking things. For five seconds, just stop.” She feels his breath against her lips and they start kissing again.

They keep kissing and suddenly Devi realises the back of her head is resting against something soft, and that they’re lying horizontal on the couch. Ben’s hands are in her hair and her’s are against his bare chest. She feels swirly and giddy, which only intensifies when she feels his tongue in her mouth. The mere thought of it makes her lightheaded – _Ben Gross has his tongue in my mouth._

When she realises Ben’s hands have been hovering over her chest outside her t-shirt for the last few minutes, Devi breaks their kiss and starts laughing into the side of his neck.

“What is it?” he says, sounding panicked. “Did I do something wrong?” His eyes are heavy lidded and his lips are pink and wet.

“You’re allowed to touch me you know,” she says, looking at his hands.

“Oh. I just...I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable," he says earnestly.

“You’re not,” Devi says, pulling him towards her for another kiss. She pushes her fingers into his hair, which feels soft and slightly damp from the pool. She feels Ben move his hand under her shirt, so that his palm is resting in the fleshy curve of her waist. He slowly inches it upwards. Everywhere he’s touching feels like fire. It's somehow both too much and not enough, and Devi thinks she could keep doing this for hours. But they pull apart when they hear a loud shriek, and a woman appears in the doorway with a horrified look on her face.

“Patty!” says Ben, pushing himself off Devi. “I thought you weren't working today.”

“Every second Saturday,” she says, looking embarrassed, “which is today.”

“This my friend from school, Devi,” says Ben. Devi sits up and gives a small, embarrassed wave.

“Nice to meet you,” Devi says. Patty glares back at her.

“I’ll be in the kitchen,” says Patty, “I’ll make you some lunch.”

“We’ve already eaten,” yells Ben, but Patty is already gone.

When Ben and Devi are alone again, Ben starts laughing softly while Devi pulls her head inside her t-shirt like a turtle. “I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life,” she says, muffled through the shirt.

“It’s not that bad,” says Ben.

Patty reappears, and throws something onto the coffee table in front of them. It’s Devi’s dress, bra and underwear.

“You left this on the floor,” says Patty coldly, before turning to leave again.

Devi looks at Ben. “Correction: _now_ I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life.”

Ben laughs harder.

“I’m going back in the pool,” Devi jokes. “I’m gonna go drown myself.”

Ben touches Devi’s shoulder. “Don’t take it personally, Patty’s just very protective. Hey – where are you going?”

“To change,” says Devi. “So you can just stay here and laugh it up, buddy!”

After Devi comes back downstairs, this time in her own clothes, she finds Ben sitting at the kitchen counter eating.

“You’re safe,” he says when he sees her approaching. “Patty’s doing laundry. Want some lunch? She made this for us.”

“Don’t kid yourself, she made it for _you_ ,” says Devi, sitting on the stool next to Ben. “I think I’m just gonna head home.”

Ben looks disappointed. “Seriously? Don’t let her scare you off, she’s actually really nice. I was gonna send her away soon so we can have the afternoon back to ourselves.”

“You just want me to stay so you can get my clothes off,” teases Devi.

“You got me,” he says sarcastically, pushing his food around his plate with his fork.

“Guess I’ll see you Monday,” says Devi, getting up from her seat. She lingers for a moment, unsure what to do.

“It’s weird right?” says Ben, as if reading her mind. “It’s exactly what happened the other night at your place. Do we kiss goodbye or not?” He puts his hands on Devi’s waist and gently pulls her closer towards him. “I mean, _I want to,_ but I don’t know if you do.”

Devi also wanted him to kiss her goodbye. More than anything, she wishes he would. But she was worried it was getting confusing. They needed to draw a line in the sand somewhere.

“Probably best if we don’t,” she says. “I mean, we’re not a couple so it doesn’t make sense.”

“Right,” Ben says, dropping his hands from her waist.

As Devi grabs her jacket and bag by the door, she feels Ben's eyes on her watching her go.

“Thanks,” she says, opening the door, “I had a nice time.” She shuts the door before he can say anything more.

It was a little rude, but the truth was Devi felt uncomfortable with the power imbalance of the arrangement. He had a girlfriend waiting from him on the other side of this, and it was starting to bug her.

As Devi walks out of Ben’s driveway, she checks her phone. There’s a series of unread texts and missed calls from Fabiola. Devi thinks she must be panicking about those study notes, but when she reads her messages her stomach drops.

**FABIOLA: Thanks girl**   
**FABIOLA: wait I think you sent the wrong attachment**   
**FABIOLA: haha what is this?**   
**FABIOLA: OMG**   
**FABIOLA: A SEX CONTRACT**   
**FABIOLA: BEN GROSS!?!?**   
**FABIOLA: ANSWER YOUR PHONE**   
**FABIOLA: WHY AREN’T YOU PICKING UP**   
**FABIOLA: DEVI VISHWAKUMAR**


	7. The surprise

Devi really wants to drink the peppermint tea Eleanor has made, but she feels too nervous to pick up the cup. Instead, she just taps it nervously.

It’s Sunday, and Fabiola has called for a friend summit at Eleanor’s house to discuss Devi’s arrangement with Ben Gross. Devi didn’t particularly want to, but knew it was better to explain it to them together than to go through it twice separately.

Eleanor and Fabiola burn through some key questions right away – when did it start (Ben’s birthday party) how long has it been going on (they’ve only met up twice), how much have you done (kissing with tongue) and what he’s like to kiss (good. Surprisingly, _incredibly_ good.)

“I’m sorry I lied,” says Devi, “I _swear_ I was going to tell you afterwards, but we just thought it would be better to keep it to ourselves for now. Especially after that whole disaster with Paxton.”

Her friends don’t say anything, but sip their tea in silence, sneaking glances at one another.

“I understand that you’re mad at me,” continues Devi, “but I need you to believe me when I say I felt terrible about keeping this from you.”

Fabiola puts her cup down, and fixes her gaze on Devi.

“You think we’re mad at you?” she says, in a tone of confusion.

Eleanor rests one of her hands on Devi’s arm. “Devi, we’re _worried_ about you.”

“Worried?” says Devi, “Oh. You don’t need to be. I mean, obviously we’ll be safe. He’s done this before so I’m sure he has condoms-”

“Not about that,” says Eleanor, “we’re worried that you want to have sex so badly that you don’t care who with. That’s why you’ve asked a guy you hate and who has a girlfriend.”

“I never said I hate him,” says Devi, defensively.

“So that’s why you’re doing this?” asks Fabiola, confused. “You like him?”

“No,” says Devi, annoyed. “I don’t know why everyone keeps saying that.”

“Listen,” says Eleanor. “It’s your life and we’re not gonna tell you what to do, but I think part of you knows this isn’t a good idea.”

“If you’re saying this because you’re jealous or something, it’s okay,” says Devi. “I get it. But I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me anymore, or that you’re at a different stage to me, just because I’m a little more sexually advanced than you guys.”

Eleanor and Fabiola give nervous glances to one another.

“Devi,” says Eleanor carefully. “I’ve had sex.”

Devi nearly chokes on her tea. “What?”

“It’s super recent,” explains Eleanor, smiling to herself. “Oliver’s parents were away one night and… one thing led to another. It was while we were in a fight with you, that’s the only reason I haven’t told you yet. I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

Devi looks to Fabiola.

Fabiola nods. “Yeah I already knew. And actually, I wasn’t planning on sharing this today but… Eve and I are getting pretty serious too. We’ve started to be physical as well.”

Eleanor touches Fabiola’s shoulder and gives a sweet, cooing awwww.

Devi rolls her eyes. “Why is it ‘aww’ when Fab wants to have sex but when I wanna do it it’s cause for concern!?” she says angrily.

“Because Fab’s in love with her girlfriend,” says Eleanor plainly. “It’s not some misguided sex contract that she’s forcing herself to do.”

Fabiola tries to mediate “I think what Eleanor’s trying to say,” she says carefully, “is what’s your big rush?”

“I know, I know,” says Devi dismissively, as she starts reciting the usual clichés. “Sex is a big deal, losing your virginity is an important life-changing decision-”

“No,” says Fabiola, smiling and shaking her head a little. “If anything it’s the opposite. Lots of things are more important than sex. In fact, _most things are._ I promise you, sex isn’t a big deal unless you make it into one.”

 _Easy for them to say,_ thinks Devi, _they’re having sex._

Eleanor sighs. “That said, if you’re even _thinking_ about going through with this” she says, reaching for her purse. “You can’t be such a dummy about it.”

Eleanor reaches into a side pocket of her bag, takes out a condom and hands it to Devi, whose eyes bulge out of her head.

“No way – I can’t risk my mom finding it,” Devi says, frantically trying to hand it back, but Eleanor closes Devi’s palm and pushes it back towards her.

“Devi, don’t be stupid. You can’t just rely on the guy for these things. I always keep one in my purse, just in case. You can never be too safe.”

This is not how Devi was expecting this friend summit to go. She had braced herself for yelling and crying, not reluctant support. It was unexpected and frankly, a little unsettling. Devi peered over her cup at her two friends, and wondered when exactly they had decided to transform from dorks who eat their lunch in the teacher’s lounge to the kinds of women who carry condoms in their purses – and why hadn’t Devi gone through the same transformation?

When Devi gets home, she nervously texts Ben to let him know the secret’s out, but he's not mad. In fact, he barely seems to care at all.

_DEVI: Why are you being so chill about this? You’re so annoying_   
**BEN: What’s the big deal? You were gonna tell them eventually.**   
**BEN: That said, you did tell Fabiola to delete the contract right?**   
_DEVI: ON IT_

_DEVI: Hey Fab, just checking you deleted the thing I emailed you earlier?_   
**FABIOLA: Of course! I deleted it as soon as I read it. Don’t want to risk anyone else reliving my trauma**   
_DEVI: Hey be nice!_   
**FABIOLA: :) I’m with my family, text you tomorrow x**   
_DEVI: Night Fab x_

_DEVI: Crisis averted – she deleted it._   
**BEN: Thank god. Anyway it’s getting late, we should probably get some sleep.**   
_DEVI: Yeah. Thanks again for today – I had a fun/humiliating time. Night Ben x_

_Oh fuck._ She accidentally signed off with a kiss. That wasn’t meant to happen, she usually only does that when she texts her friends. She can’t go around texting kisses to other girls’ boyfriends! _Chill,_ she tells herself. _He probably won’t even notice._

**BEN: Goodnight Devi x**

Okay. That’s worse. That’s much worse.

The next week is basically a write-off for Devi and Ben. Devi has to go home every day after school and help her mom and Kamala do some spring cleaning. They have relatives from India staying in a few weeks and Devi’s mom wants to clear out the clutter before they arrive. Eleanor and Fabiola offer to help too, knowing it would be hard for Devi going through her dad’s old stuff. Things between Devi and her friends were normal again – they had agreed to make their peace with the fact they had each had kept secrets from one another in some way, so decided to call it even.

But as much as Devi didn’t want to let it bug her, she didn’t like that her friends were sexually active and she wasn’t. They went through everything together, and always had, but now Devi felt like she was falling behind. It had been nearly two weeks since she approached Ben and the most they’d done was make-out (and only briefly, before Patty interrupted).

Devi dwells on this as she's sorting through clothes on her bedroom floor with Eleanor, one day after school. She sends a photo to Ben.

_DEVI: I'm currently buried under a mountain of clothing in my room. See anything you like?_   
**BEN: Just one thing.**   
**BEN: MY SPELLING BEE TROPHY.**

“Who’re you texting?” asks Eleanor, smiling.

Devi stares blankly back at her. “Don’t ask when you know who it is.”

“Well you make it so obvious,” teases Eleanor. “You always have the biggest grin when he texts you.”

Devi ignores Eleanor’s comment and goes back to sorting clothes.

**BEN: So will I actually get to see you outside of school again or is cleaning a life sentence?**   
_DEVI: The warden is giving me the weekend off. I could come over?_   
**BEN: How about a movie instead?**   
**BEN: My dad got free tickets to a new Chris Hemsworth film, wanna go see it with me?**

Devi rolls her eyes in frustration. He keeps crossing the line. He has a girlfriend, why is he asking her on a date?

_DEVI: I don’t think so._   
**BEN: David, it’s a brainless action movie not a picnic at sunset :) Come on, it’ll be fun**   
_DEVI: It’s not that, I just don’t really like action movies._   
**BEN: Okay. Your loss.**

“I have to say," says Eleanor, "I’m surprised at how quickly this whole thing has happened with you and Ben.”

“What do you mean?”

Eleanor puts down the dress she's holding and shuffles closer to Devi, lowering her voice (just in case Devi’s mom was listening in).

“Well, it took months for Oliver and I to kiss without giggling, let alone try anything else.”

Devi shrugs in faux confidence. “It’s different I guess, I’ve known Ben for most of my life.”

“You’re lucky,” says Eleanor. “Oliver wouldn’t even touch me unless expressly asked.”

Devi has flashbacks to Ben being similarly reluctant during their last kissing session on his couch.

“I think Oliver was just nervous,” Eleanor continues. “It’ll be different with you and Ben, since you said he’s had sex before. But with Oliver I had to take the lead.”

Devi narrows her eyes on Eleanor. “Really?”

“Oh yeah. That’s what these nerdy boys want more than anything – permission.”

Devi raises her eyebrows. “ _Damn_ Eleanor,” she says impressed, “who knew you were such a boss.”

Eleanor laughs.

Feeling inspired, Devi reconsiders her weekend plans.

_DEVI: Actually you know what, a movie sounds great._   
**BEN: Yeah? Awesome! We could go tomorrow night?**   
_DEVI: No, I wanna see it tonight._   
**BEN: Um there’s only one screening and it’s at like 10, might be a little late?**   
_DEVI: It’s Saturday, it’s fine. Pick me up later?_   
**BEN: Bossy. Yes ma’am.**

Of course, Ben doesn’t actually pick Devi up from her house. Devi’s mom was still convinced that Ben hated the entire Vishwakumar dynasty and that cover story was actually working in Devi's favour for the time being. So instead, Devi tells her mom she’s meeting the girls for a movie (so, a half-lie, which is less bad) and gets Ben to pick her up from around the corner, safely out of sight.

He has a funny expression on his face when Devi gets in the car.

“I know,” Devi says, running her fingers through her hair, “I look terrible and tired, that’s what happens after five days of deep cleaning. This dress is the only clean thing I could find.”

Ben keeps looking at her up down. “No you look…pretty,” he says quietly. He then composes himself and heads onto the road again, missing the blush rising in Devi’s cheeks.

“You said this movie is at 10?” Devi teases, looking at the clock on the dash. “Cutting it kind of close don’t you think? Considering how slowly you drive.”

“Hilarious,” says Ben, smiling and shaking his head.

When they drive by a beach, Devi asks Ben to pull over.

“What? We’re nearly there,” he says.

“Just do it,” she says, “I have a surprise for you.”

Ben is thoroughly confused but does as instructed. “Now _you’re_ gonna make us late,” he teases, turning the engine off.

Using all the courage she can muster, Devi slowly unbuckles her seatbelt and climbs over the center console and onto Ben’s lap. It's very clumsy and not as sexy as she imagined in her mind, but she makes up for it with enthusiasm.

“Devi, what are you do-” but before Ben can finish his sentence, Devi kisses him, deeply and passionately. Ben seems hesitant at first, mostly out of confusion, but quickly starts kissing her back and pushes his hands into her hair. Devi moves her own hands to the front of her dress and starts unbuttoning it. As her dress starts to slip from her shoulders Ben realises what she’s trying to do.

“Here?” he says in between kisses, “Devi, this isn’t a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Well for a start, it’s not very comfortable.”

“It’s fine,” she says. They continue kissing until Devi reaches for the zipper on Ben's pants. He breaks their kiss.

“Wait, hold on a sec,” he says, breathlessly, stroking her hair. “What’s going on with you?”

“What does it look like? I’m trying to have sex with you.” She takes Ben's hands and puts them on her breasts, over her bra. “I give you permission,” she says. He immediately takes them off.

“Ben,” she says impatiently. “It’s been two weeks and all we’ve done is kiss. You promised to help me so can you please take this seriously? I want you to approach this with the same tenacity you do schoolwork. Just think of me like an extra curricular.”

She starts kissing Ben’s neck, eliciting a soft moan from him.

“Uh, I’m not sure I'm comfortable thinking about you that way,” he says, concerned.

“You don’t need to be such a gentleman about it,” Devi says encouragingly, “I want this. I want _you_.”

Devi reaches for his zipper, again. Ben gently moves her hand away, again.

“We can’t,” he says, shaking his head. “I didn't bring protection." He says it like he's relieved.

“Well luckily I did,” says Devi.

“W-what?”

Devi reaches over to her purse and pulls out a condom. The glint of the foil flashes in the streetlight.

“I got it from Eleanor,” says Devi.

Ben is even more confused. “Wait, _Eleanor_ is having sex!? With who!?”

“Ben, I don’t want to think about Eleanor right now," Devi sighs in frustration. "Please just put this on.”

She kisses him again, sweetly this time, holding his face in her hands, but after a few moments he breaks the kiss again. He reaches for the front of Devi’s dress and starts buttoning it back up.

Devi sits up on Ben's lap, absorbing the moment. “You... don't want to have sex with me?”

Ben strokes her cheek but doesn't say anything.

“Because of Shira?” Devi continues, hating herself for asking. “You feel guilty?”

Ben looks annoyed. “No, it’s not about her. I mean, a little but…. It’s complicated.”

 _Oh,_ thinks Devi. _He's not into this. He's not into me._

Devi grabs her purse, climbs off Ben’s lap and exits the car. She walks over to the beach and gets out her phone, her face lit by the glow of the screen. Ben leaves the car and follows her.

“You can go,” she calls to him as he walks over, not looking up from her phone. “I'll get a Lyft.”

“You don’t need to do that, I’ll take you home.”

“Ben, I don’t wanna be anywhere near you right now,” she says, tears filling her eyes. She keeps her back turned to him so he can’t see. They weren’t sad tears but shameful, embarrassed tears. Devi felt _stupid_ , and as a top academic student, that was the worst thing anyone could make her feel.

“Devi,” Ben says sadly. “Can you please talk-”

“Just GO.”

Devi hears Ben stand there for a minute, before shuffling back to his car.

He sits in it, parked, until Devi’s ride comes and he knows she can get home safe.


	8. The confession

**BEN: Hey, just making sure you got home safe tonight?**   
**BEN: I left you a couple of voice messages**   
**BEN: Devi can you please just let me know you’re okay**

Devi pretends to be sick the next couple of days. She can’t face Ben, even at school. Usually her mom would detect a bullshit excuse like a fake illness from a mile off, but Devi truly looks as miserable as she feels, so her mom lets her stay home – so long as Eleanor and Fabiola bring any schoolwork she misses.

**BEN: You weren’t at school today, everything okay?**   
**BEN: Look I don’t what happened but we should talk**

Devi feels too embarrassed to tell Eleanor or Fabiola exactly what happened, so instead she says something vague about how Ben felt guilty because of Shira. They do their best to comfort Devi but it somehow makes her feel worse, like they pity her. After all, they both had people who _want_ them. Devi had to rope a guy in with a sex contract and he still couldn’t go through with it.

**BEN: I’m worried about you, can we please talk?**

By Thursday, Devi’s mom stops buying the sick routine and insists Devi goes back to school. As Devi is getting ready in her room, she hears lots of knocking and doorbell ringing. She goes downstairs and finds her mom and Kamala peering through the blinds by the front door.

“What’s going on,” says Devi, slipping on her shoes. “Isn’t anyone going to get that?”

Kamala turns to Devi. “Benjamin Gross is on our porch.”

“ _What?_ ” says Devi.

“Hand me the phone Devi, I’ll call the police,” says Devi’s mom, still convinced he’s a family enemy.

“Relax,” says Devi, “I’ll speak to him.” Devi waves them away from the windows and opens the front door. Ben is sitting on the porch steps facing the road, but turns when hears Devi approaching.

“I wasn’t sure you were home,” he says. “I tried knocking but no one answered.”

“My mom won’t let you in. She hates you.”

“What, why?” Ben’s face goes pale. “Did you tell her about us?”

“Of course not – I’m upset, not suicidal.” Devi crosses her arms. “You have to go, I need to get ready for school.”

“Please can we just talk – it’ll take five minutes.”

Devi doesn’t say anything.

“Two minutes?” he tries again.

Devi looks behind her and sees her mom and Kamala peering through the blinds again.

“Fine, but not here,” she says, and gestures for Ben to follow her around the corner to a nearby park. Once there, Devi takes a seat on a swing and looks up at Ben.

“Well?” she says impatiently.

“You haven’t been at school,” he says. “How are you?”

Devi scoffs, like it’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard.

“You’re asking how I am?” she says. “Let’s see: I feel _stupid_ for asking you to help me. _Guilty_ because I lied to my friends about it – and am still lying to my mom about it. _Embarrassed_ because I threw myself at you the other night but also _relieved_ ,” she says, staring at Ben with all the pride she can muster, “because trying to have sex with someone who thinks I’m an ‘unfuckable nerd’ isn’t nearly as bad as actually going through with it.”

She looks at Ben hoping to see shame or remorse, but finds neither. Instead, his brow is furrowed and he mostly just looks confused. He moves forward and sits in the swing next to Devi, his mouth trying to form words.

“Is that what this is about?” he says finally, more quietly than she’s ever heard him speak in her life. “You’re worried I’m not _attracted_ to you? Because of some shitty thing I said when I was 12 years old?”

Devi keeps staring at her feet. “Ben, you practically threw me off of you the other night. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I promise it won’t happen again.”

She gets up to walk home but Ben stops her. He takes her arm and pulls her so she’s standing in front of him.

“And that’s the only possible explanation?” he says, like he’s explaining the most obvious thing in the world. “Because why would I be attracted to you? It’s not like you’re incredibly smart, and funny, and interesting to talk to, or that your skin is smooth and soft or that your hair smells like apples… Why do you think I keep trying to kiss you?”

Devi sighs. “But only kissing,” she says, dismissively. “Which is fine but that’s not what I thought we-”

“No,” he interrupts her, shaking his head. “I mean, I _really_ like kissing you but that’s not the only thing I think about when we’re together. If you knew…” he starts to trail off. He’s blushing a little. “Devi, the other weekend on my couch, and the other night in my car…being that physically close to you has been very… hard for me.”

Devi looks confused. Ben clears his throat. “Please don’t make me say it,” he says.

Finally understanding what he was getting at, Devi blushes too. “But if it’s not that,” she says, “then what did I do wrong the other night?”

Ben shuts his eyes tightly, as if in pain. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

He sighs, opens his eyes again and looks at Devi sheepishly. “I’ve never had sex," he says. "I’m a virgin."

Devi watches his mouth as he says it. “That doesn’t make any sense,” she says, “… Shira?”

“Like I said, she’s only interested in me for my money. The most we’ve ever done is kiss a lot. I wouldn’t even call it making out. That’s why I was so freaked out the other night, you were being _very forward_.”

Devi moves away from Ben and starts pacing in the grass in front of him.

“So you lied to me,” she says, part statement, part question.

“Technically no,” he says carefully. “You never asked, you just assumed.”

“Ben, you _heavily implied_ that you had.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I guess I was hoping it wouldn’t matter.”

“Well obviously it does – what happened the other night proves that.” Devi keeps pacing, trying to make sense of Ben’s motives. “Were you never planning on going through with this? Then why say yes in the first place? What was the point of meeting up with me?”

Ben is standing in front of her now.

“What are you saying,” he says after a long pause. “You want to call this off?”

“We can’t,” she says. “We have a contract.”

Ben looks mad. “Jesus Christ, Devi for one minute would you just forget the stupid contract.” He steps closer to her. “I’m asking you what _you_ want to do.”

He’s looking at her with those big blue eyes of his, and Devi wants to kiss him again. But she can also see panic in his eyes, which she interprets as him looking for an out. Just like Paxton. Why else would he fess up about being a virgin? He doesn’t want to go through with this.

“Well?” Ben says again. “What do you want to do?”

He has a girlfriend. He shouldn’t even be here with her right now. She feels like he’s playing with her and she’s had enough.

“I want to go to school,” Devi says finally.

She pushes past Ben and walks back to her house.

Devi throws herself into her schoolwork. She spends every free moment either at home studying or hanging out with Eleanor and Fabiola.

At school, she’s taken to wearing headphones and listening to music in between classes. The first few days after her argument with Ben, he tried talking to her when she was at her locker and she got tired of telling him to leave her alone.

Every call he makes to her goes unanswered, and every text is unread and deleted. Within a week, he leaves Devi alone completely.

Devi is at her weekly appointment with Dr Ryan. She missed her last session due to all the de-cluttering she had to do at home, so has a lot to fill her in on.  
As always, the session starts with questions about her home life, her grief for her dad, but Devi knows they’re just dancing around the elephant in the room, so she’s relieved when it finally comes up.

“And how are things in your personal life,” says Dr Ryan.

“You’ll be thrilled to know I’m still a virgin,” Devi says, sourly.

“I’m not emotionally invested in your sexual activity either way,” says Dr Ryan. “I’m only interested in how it makes you feel.”

Devi doesn’t say anything.

“I’m guessing it’s not going well,” Dr Ryan says. “Have you considered extending the arbitrary deadline you set yourself?”

“The deadline is firm,” says Devi, picturing Shira and Ben reunited at school in precisely one week. “But it’s not going ahead anyway. Turns out the guy is a virgin.”

Dr Ryan looks confused. “I’m afraid I don’t follow – I don’t know what they teach you in sex ed at Sherman Oaks High, but two virgins are perfectly capable of having sexual intercourse.”

“That wasn’t the deal,” Devi says matter-of-factly. “I approached him because he had experience.”

Dr Ryan flips back through her notes. “Last time you were here you suggested you approached him because he was quote ‘a nice guy’, a ‘sweet guy’. You made no mention of his experience being a factor.”

“It was implied,” says Devi. “He lied to me.”

“Why do you think he lied about it?”

“I don’t know, to get me into bed.”

“But he didn’t get you into bed,” says Dr Ryan, leaning back in her chair looking at Devi. “So just to clarify: you approached this boy to have sex with _you_ because _you’re_ a virgin, but you don’t want to have sex with _him_ because _he’s_ a virgin?”

Devi hates this conversation.

Dr Ryan looks at Devi sympathetically. “Could it be, Devi, that you’re looking for an excuse not to go through with this?”

“Why would I do that?” says Devi defensively, “because being a virgin is _so cool._ ”

“I don’t know,” says Dr Ryan. “Perhaps you realise it’s not going to solve your problems. Perhaps you have feelings for this boy. Or perhaps you’re simply not ready.”

Devi reaches for a glass of water in front of her.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she says.


	9. The trophy

An added benefit of Fabiola dating Eve was that Eve was popular. This meant when Eve was invited to parties, Fabiola, Eleanor and Devi went too. Tonight, Trent Harrison was throwing one of his famous ragers, but Devi wasn’t in the mood to be around people.

**FAB: Please come! The three of us haven’t hung out in forever!**   
**ELEANOR: Fab’s right – come out with us! You can wear that cute new skirt you bought :)**   
_DEVI: I dunno guys, I really don’t think I’m gonna be much fun tonight_   
**FAB: Eve says he’s not gonna be there, if that’s what you’re worried about**   
_DEVI: I'm not, but thanks <3_

_DEVI: I’ll ask my mom if I can come, but no promises!_

Hoping her mom will say no, Devi abandons her usual elaborate cover story and instead tells her mom exactly where she wants to go tonight – Trent Harrison’s unsupervised party, where teenagers will be drinking beer and doing god knows what else!

To her complete disbelief, her mom says yes.

“What?" says Devi, incredulously. "Mom did you hear me?”

“Yes, and I’ve _been hearing_ _you_ all week!” her mom says. “Sulking around this house, being grumpy at dinner, listening to depressing music – I think it’s good for you to get out of the house."

Devi drags her feet back upstairs to get ready.

“But to be clear,” her mom calls up to her, “if you come home so much as _smelling_ of alcohol or drugs, you will be under house arrest until college - and maybe even then.”

Devi spends most of the party sitting alone in Trent’s garden on some sad looking patio furniture, drinking soda and playing on her phone.

Eleanor and Fabiola come outside and sit with her, bringing snacks from inside.

“You don’t have to keep me company,” Devi says, smiling at them. “You should go be with Eve and Oliver.”

“This is a girls’ night,” says Fabiola. “We’re not going anywhere – even if you’re in a bad mood.”

Devi feels guilty. “I’m sorry guys,” she says. “For being grumpy, for… everything lately.”

“It’s fine,” Eleanor says warmly. “I’m sorry if we weren’t more supportive, we just want what’s best for you. You’ve always been the impulsive one in the group, leading the way – but sometimes we need to reign you in a bit.”

“I don’t think I lead anything,” says Devi quietly. “At least not anymore. We used to go through everything together but now it’s like we’re at different stages.”

Eleanor makes a face. “What are you talking about? We _never_ went through things at the same time.”

“Of course we did,” says Devi.

“Eleanor’s right,” Fabiola says. “Think about it; we all hit puberty at different times, got our period at different times, started liking boys – and girls – at different times. I think you’re remembering it wrong, Devi – none of us has ever been at the same stage as the others.”

“Except now,” says Devi, “with both of you having sex.”

“Oh,” says Fabiola. She looks around to make sure no one is listening. “I haven’t slept with Eve yet,” she says. “Turns out neither of us felt ready. When it got to the moment, we realised we were rushing it. I mean, things are still really great between us, but we've decided to take a step back in that particular area.”

Eleanor smiles. “Good for you, Fab.” She then nudges Devi with her elbow. “See? We’re all at different stages, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make us any less close.”

Touched by the honesty and warmth of her friends, Devi decides to confess what really happened with Ben. She tells them about that night in his car, and how he admitted he was a virgin and wasn’t ready to go through with it.

“Wow,” says Eleanor. “Sounds like it was really hard for him to admit that to you. He must really trust you.”

Fab nods in agreement. “For someone so annoying in school he sounds like a sweet guy.”

“Yeah,” says Devi, "he really is." She feels a strange feeling wash over her, like affection or guilt, or both.

“And you had no idea?” asks Eleanor.

“No idea,” says Devi shaking her head. “I mean, he acted weird at the end, but at the start he always seemed so confident and like he knew what he was doing. He even made the first move.”

Fabiola looks confused. “Wait, I thought you said _you_ kissed _him_?”

“I did, but I’m talking about before the contract,” Devi says, sipping her drink. “He tried to kiss me at his birthday party. Twice. But nothing happened.”

She looks up and sees her friends staring at her wide-eyed.

“You left that part out,” says Eleanor, quietly. “About Ben trying to kiss you at his party.”

“Did I? Oh, well what does it matter?” Devi says “Ow! Fab, what the hell?”

Fabiola hits Devi on the arm. “Devi, Ben wanted to kiss you. _Before the contract_. He likes you, idiot.”

“No, he just…” Devi mulls this over. “I don’t think…. But then why would he…”

“It’s amazing,” says Eleanor, taking a sip of her drink. “The two smartest people in our grade are also the dumbest.”

Patty answers the doorbell at the Gross household.

“Good evening,” says Devi.

“It’s late,” Patty says coldly.

“I know, I’m sorry," says Devi, as she stands in the doorway. It’s nearly midnight – she’s come straight from Trent's party (plus a quick pit stop at her place).

“Do you know if Ben’s still up?”

Patty sighs. “Wait here.”

Devi peers inside. Ben’s house is quiet, and all of the lights are off except for a few in the kitchen and dining area where Patty must be cleaning.

After a minute, Patty comes back downstairs.

“Mr Benjamin is busy, can I take a message?” she says.

Devi’s disappointment washes over her.

“Sure. Can you tell him…” Devi begins to fidget nervously. “Can you please tell him that I’m sorry for everything. That I acted like an idiot but I got confused. I was freaked out about what Eleanor and Fab were doing and I got caught up in my own head. I wasn’t paying attention to what was actually happening in front of me. But I understand that now and I just…”

Devi exhales deeply.

“Tell him that I wish we could go back to the start so that I could have just said what I always felt which is… that I like him. _I really like him_.”

Devi reaches into her bag and pulls out the Spelling Bee trophy.

“And can you please give him this,” says Devi, handing it to Patty.

The plaque that reads _'1st place - Benjamin Gross'_ has been covered with a new label saying _'Number 1 Dummy – Devi Vishwakumar'._

Patty reluctantly takes the trophy from Devi.

“I doubt I’m going to remember all of that,” she says, “but I’ll pass it along to him as soon as Miss Shira leaves.”

Devi’s stomach drops.

“Sh-Shira is here?”

“Yes, Miss Shira got back from her trip this morning," says Patty, losing all patience. "Now as I said it’s _late_ – goodnight.”

Devi panics. “Actually on second thought can I have that troph-”

But Patty has already shut the door in Devi’s face.


	10. The metaphor

The next day, Sunday morning, Devi rides with her mom to the airport to pick up their relatives visiting from India – Nalini’s cousin and her husband. They were apparently a lot older than Nalini and _quite conservative_. Devi keeps checking her phone for a message from Ben, be it good or bad, but neither comes. Her mom sighs every time she sees Devi checking her phone.

“You can’t be glued to that thing the entire time our guests are visiting,” she says. “It’s very rude.”

“I’m sorry,” Devi says sincerely, and puts it away.

Her mom watches her from the corner of her eyes and sighs. “Devi, there are more important things in life than boys.”

“What?” Devi says defensively as she turns to look at her mom.

“That’s the reason for your mood lately, isn’t it?” says Nalini. “Some miscreant boy has broken your heart? At first I thought it was stress from school, but then I remembered the only thing that truly upsets 15 year old girls is 15 year old _boys._ ”

“Mom,” Devi says stubbornly, “I really don’t want a lecture this early – I haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

Nalini sighs. “You think I’m so different to you,” she says quietly, “but I was a teenager once too.” She pauses a moment. “Look, we’re nearly at the airport, so I’m giving you two minutes to cry or scream or complain or whatever you want to do, and get it out of your system now.”

Devi raises her eyebrows.

“I’m serious,” Nalini continues. “This is your last chance – I cannot have you moping about a boy while our relatives are in the house, they’ll think you’re a badly-raised deviant oversexed American teenager.”

Devi sighs and considers this. With nowhere to go, she decides to take up this offer to purge her feelings.

“Fine,” she says. “Maybe there was a guy I sort of liked. But he didn’t break my heart or something like that. If anything, _I_ was the miscreant.” Devi looks out her window. “I wasn’t very nice to him and he didn’t deserve it.”

Nalini keeps staring at the road in front of her. “Then you should apologise to this boy,” she says, matter-of-factly.

“I know,” says Devi. “I have. I will… I just want him to be happy.”

And as Devi says it, she realizes she means it. Shira’s back now, and Devi’s not interested in competing with her or trying to trick Ben into being her boyfriend. Yes, Devi had fallen for him, but more than that she wanted him to be happy, with or without her. It was time to move on and let him have what he wants without getting in his way.

As their car stops at a red light, Devi’s mom reaches a hand across and rests it on Devi’s arm.

“That’s very mature of you, kanna,” she says.

They spend most of the day driving their relatives around town and showing off the sights, but as the day progresses it’s clear their guests are feeling tired and jetlagged, so they head home for an early dinner.

**FAB: Any word from Ben?**   
_DEVI: Nope, but I doubt there will be_   
**ELEANOR: Don't say that! Maybe his servant didn’t give him your message?**   
_DEVI: El she’s not a servant, she’s a house manager! And honestly it’s fine_   
**FAB: Want us to come over to talk?**   
_DEVI: I appreciate your help but please stop worrying. I’m fine. It’s good_

The Vishwakumars discuss an agenda for their visitors’ trip during dinner, while enjoying a delicious feast made by Kamala. They talk about Devi’s school, Kamala’s PhD studies and other appropriate conversation topics that Nalini has pre-approved.

When Nalini starts talking about her dermatology practice, she’s interrupted by the doorbell and gets up to answer it. She returns a moment later and gestures for Devi to come with her.

“You have a visitor,” she says smiling, before turning to her cousin, “one of her school friends.”

Devi assumes it must be Eleanor of Fab, until her mom grips her arm tightly once they’re out of sight in the hall. “ _Get rid of him_ ,” she says sternly.

And then Devi sees his shadow, backlit on the porch with the afternoon sunlight behind him.

“Hi,” Ben says. He’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Sunday casual. Devi thinks she’s never seen him look so handsome.

“Hi,” she says, in a tone of complete surprise.

Ben looks guilty and lowers his voice. “How come your mom’s so pissed I’m here? In my defence, I didn't know you'd be having dinner this early.”

“It's only because we have relatives visiting," says Devi.

They both stand there staring at each other, not uttering a word.

“You were at my house last night?” Ben says finally, like it’s a question.

“Listen,” Devi says quickly, “I am so sorry about that, I never would’ve shown up if I knew Shira was there, and I probably should’ve known she would be, because you told me the date she got back but I guess it slipped my mind-”

“What were you doing there?” he interrupts her.

Devi swallows hard. “…Patty didn’t give you my message?

Ben makes a face. “Well, she gave me _a_ message,” he says slowly. “She said you made a very long and confusing speech which she tried to recreate but… English is her second language so I’m not sure she captured it… though I thought the trophy was a nice touch.”

Devi smiles weakly.

“I guess I came here,” he says, stepping closer to her, “because I wanted to hear the original, unabridged version from you.”

Devi looks down at her feet and then up into Ben’s eyes. “Sure,” she says, taking a long pause. “I just… I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. For everything. And to thank you. You were right to stop us from doing anything we might have regretted.”

Ben pauses a minute to take this in. “I appreciate that,” he says. “Apology accepted.”

He’s standing very close to Devi and she can look right into his eyes, which are incredibly, almost _distractingly_ blue today. . “Was… was that it?” he asks cautiously.

Devi hears footsteps approaching and quickly steps back to create space between them.

“ _You need to come in now,_ ” her mom says in a hushed but serious tone, “ _my cousin does not approve that I’ve left you alone to talk to a boy_.”

Ben turns to leave.

“No, _both of you_ need to come in,” says Nalini, pulling him inside. “They’ve already seen you, if you leave now it looks like we’re trying to hide you.”

Nalini pushes Ben and Devi towards the dining room, shushing their protests.

“Everyone,” she announces, “this is Devi’s school friend Benjamin, he’ll be joining us for dinner.”

Nalini gestures for Ben to take the spare seat next to Kamala, opposite Devi.

“Is it normal in America to invite school friends to dinner?” asks Nalini’s cousin, staring at Ben suspiciously.

Kamala makes up a plate for Ben. “Devi didn’t tell us you were joining us,” she says, also confused.

Devi catches Ben’s eye across the table. _I’m so sorry_ , she mouths to him.

Ben feels everyone’s eyes at the table fall on him. “I just came here because…” Ben tries to think of a lie. “I needed to talk to Devi about… a school project,” he says quickly.

“About the extra credit assignment?” asks Nalini. She turns to her cousin, “Benjamin is very dedicated to his school work, as is Devi. They’re been working on an extra credit assignment together for History. American education is very good.”

After her cousin nods with approval, Nalini turns back to Ben. “But that assignment is taking a lot of time. You two started work on that weeks ago.”

“It’s a big assignment,” Devi says quickly, trying to rescue Ben. “It’s about… um… WWII leaders…like… Winston Churchill,” she lies, terribly. “But actually we’re not doing that anymore.”

“Since when?” Devi’s mom says, furrowing her brow. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“Honestly, I should never have done it in the first place,” says Devi. “It was a mistake.”

“Oh really?” says Ben, interested now. “Why’s that?”

Devi stares back at him. “I was doing it for the wrong reasons,” she says. “I started it for one reason, but then I realised it was turning into something different.”

“You should have told your teacher,” says Nalini, disapprovingly.

“That’s true,” says Devi, still watching Ben. “I should have just been honest about how I felt from the start.”

Ben stares back at her intensely. “Which is how?”

Devi feels her heart racing. “I guess I used to think… _Churchill_ was kind of mean and annoying, but now I see he’s not so bad. In fact, he’s actually really funny and sweet… and sexy.”

Devi’s mom chokes on her lemonade. Kamala gives an awkward laugh. Nalini's cousin scowls. Ben blushes.

“She’s joking,” Nalini says to her cousin and her husband, then narrows her eyes on Devi.

“The point is,” says Devi, still staring at Ben. “I was stupid and I regret doing it. But also, _I don’t_ regret it, because it means I got to spend lots of time getting to know him better. And even though he drives me crazy, I realised he’s actually someone I like. Maybe… even love.”

The table falls silent.

Devi’s mom turns to her cousin. “Devi is very passionate about her schoolwork,” she says.

Ben makes an excuse to leave right after dinner, saying he’s got a basketball game to get to. Nalini does not object, now that she knows her daughter is interested in him, which means she dislikes him more than ever. Devi walks him to his car outside.

“I broke up with Shira,” Ben tells Devi in the driveway. “I asked her to come over last night to end things.”

“Oh,” says Devi, realising that’s what Patty meant by _‘he’s busy.’_

Ben and Devi lean against the side of his car.

“I should’ve ended things with her ages ago,” Ben continues. “The truth is Devi, I have feelings for you. I think I have for a while. And I came here because I was hoping that the trophy meant you feel the same...”

He tucks her hair behind her ear and touches her face like he’s about to kiss her.

“I have feelings for you too,” Devi says smiling. Ben’s eyes go soft and it makes her want to melt.

“Listen,” Devi says, leaning closer. “I have a proposition for you…”

Ben immediately starts shaking his head. “ _No way_. I’m not listening to any more propositions from you-”

“ _I propose_ ,” she says loudly, ignoring his protests, “that you see a movie with me next weekend. I owe you a date,” she says, smiling. “And this time I promise to keep my hands to myself.”

Ben laughs softly. He cups Devi’s face in his hands and kisses her. It’s slow and deep and she feels his eyelashes against her cheeks. _I want to do this forever,_ she thinks.

When they finally break apart, Devi smiles into his neck and breathes him in.

“I prefer this,” she says. “You’re not kissing me because of a contract, but because you want to.”

Ben smiles at her.

“I always was,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left such lovely feedback and comments :) I hope you liked this story and enjoy these lovestruck idiots as much as I do. I’m debating whether or not to end this story here or add more… Let me know what you think in the comments – if enough people want it, I might write some kind of epilogue!


	11. Epilogue

**4 months later**

“You can’t be serious!” yells Devi incredulously. She’s standing at the front of her History class, having just delivered her presentation on ‘The events leading up to WWII’.

“You missed a key event!” argues Ben, seated at his desk. “You should lose marks for not mentioning Germany’s invasion of Poland – that was the beginning of WWII.”

“Exactly! The assignment was to talk about the events leading _up to_ WWII.”

“Up to means including,” says Ben.

“Guys,” Mr Shapiro intervenes. “You’re monopolising classroom time, I’d like to move on to the next assignment.”

But both Devi and Ben ignore him.

“David,” says Ben, patronisingly, “if I asked you to count ‘up to’ 10, you wouldn’t stop at 9.”

“If you were asked to read ‘up to’ chapter 10,” counters Devi, “that means you would stop at the end of chapter 9!”

“You’re arguing over semantics!” says Ben. “Just admit you forgot to mention a key event and-

“ _I didn’t forget_ – the invasion of Poland wasn’t part of the-” but the bell rings before Devi can finish making her point.

“Thank God,” mutters Mr Shapiro under his breath, as he and the other students pack up their things and trickle out of the classroom.

Devi walks out with Eleanor, Fabiola and Eve who are heading to the cafeteria. Devi stops at her locker first to put her books away when she feels a hand on her lower back. She smiles despite herself and turns around.

“I was about to make an excellent point and prove you wrong,” she smirks. “You know that right?”

“Maybe, but we’ll never know for sure,” Ben teases, grinning at her.

She rolls her eyes and shuts her locker. Ben’s hand slips from her waist to her palm, intertwining their fingers as they walk to the cafeteria.

“Are we still on for tonight?” he says in a low voice. “You’re _sure_ they’re not gonna be there?”

“For the millionth time yes,” says Devi. “They left this morning. Stop worrying… unless you’re having second thoughts?”

“Not at all,” he says warmly. “I mean, I’m nervous but in a good way.”

“Me too,” smiles Devi.

She kisses him on the cheek and they join their friends for lunch.

The past four months of Devi and Ben’s relationship has involved lots of secret meet-ups and subterfuge. While Nalini had reluctantly agreed to let Devi date Ben (provided that she maintain her grades and extracurriculars), her protectiveness of her daughter had increased tenfold. Gone were the days when Devi could go to Ben’s house alone – that was when he was _a friend._ Now that they were dating, Nalini only allowed them to be together when it was under her roof where she could monitor their every move.

However, where there’s a will there’s a way, so even under such intense parental supervision, Devi and Ben found plenty of moments to be alone together. As the months went by, their relationship became increasingly physical, with one recent, humiliating incident involving Kamala walking into Devi’s room to find Ben hovering over her shirtless with his hands up her dress (Devi managed to buy Kamala’s silence by reminding her that she had caught Kamala in a similarly uncompromising position not so long ago…)

But all the sneaking around had come to a head last month when Devi and Ben were snuggling and watching a movie in his screening room (Devi had told Nalini she was at a classmate’s birthday party). Out of nowhere, Devi sat up, paused the movie and turned to her boyfriend.

“Ben, I think…” she began nervously, her voice shaking a little. “I think I’m ready to have sex. For real this time – not like my last proposition,” she added sheepishly.

Ben sat up and watched her.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately,” she continued, more confidently this time. “If you’re still not ready, that’s fine. I just thought you should know, so that when _you are_ we can talk about where-”

"Devi,” he said, smiling. “I’m ready too."

Of course, as fate would have it, the second they decided to finally have sex it seemed the well of opportunities to be alone together suddenly dried up. Ben’s parents were inexplicably at home more, while Nalini’s work hours became unreliable and inconsistent. Her new receptionist was terrible at scheduling appointments, which meant Devi lived in constant fear of her mom walking in the front door at any hour of the day.

After a month of this, Devi and Ben’s sexual frustration was at an all time high, and they were beginning to lose hope they’d ever be alone together again.

Until five days ago, when the perfect opportunity was handed to them on a silver platter.

Prashant had invited Kamala to visit his family (and her future in-laws) in Seattle, and to bring Nalini and Devi along with her. Of course, with Friday being a school day, Nalini wouldn't let Devi come, which meant Devi would stay back in Sherman Oaks by herself. For one night. Alone in the house. Unsupervised and uninterrupted.

Her mother was well aware of the implications of this.

“Just because it’s a Friday night don’t think you can throw a party,” Nalini had warned the day before. “In fact, you aren’t to have _any guests whatsoever_ – not even Eleanor and Fabiola. _I have eyes everywhere Devi_ , so don’t even try it. Because _I will find out_ – trust me. I have my ways. I’ll phone you in the evening to make sure you’re alone. And it should go without saying that you are absolutely, under no circumstances whatsoever, to invite-"

“-Like I would be stupid enough to do that,” said Devi, rolling her eyes. “Besides, he’s going to a basketball game tomorrow night anyway.”

But Devi knew the only stupid thing would be to let this once in a lifetime have-the-house-to-herself opportunity pass her by. And Ben _was_ going to a basketball game with his dad – that wasn’t a lie… Devi just left out the part where he was coming over to her place afterwards.

Devi spends Friday afternoon/evening primping and preening herself before Ben arrives. She shaves her legs, moisturises her entire body, puts on perfume and wears her nicest bra and underwear, with a loose-fitting (easy-to-remove) summery dress over top. She made sure her room was as tidy as possible, put on fresh sheets and brushed her teeth three times, just to make sure she was minty fresh. As she does all this, she tries to settle her nerves – which are fuelled partly by the fact she’s about to lose her virginity to the boy she loves, and partly because of her mother’s ominous words – _I have eyes everywhere Devi…_

But as soon as she opens her front door, and sees Ben grinning as he rakes his eyes over her, the nerves drift away. Not wanting to waste a second, she takes his hand and leads him up to her room.

“Wait,” he says, pausing on the stairs. “I um… I have a surprise for you. Could you give me a couple of minutes and meet me in your room?”

Devi raises an eyebrow suspiciously.

“It’s nothing bad,” he says, a smile pulling at his lips. “I promise.”

Devi does as instructed and sits patiently on the stairs, giving Ben a generous two minutes to do his thing. When Devi finally makes her way up to him, she realises that the lights are off, and sees a trail of rose petals leading to her bed, with Ben lighting an array of candles around her room. He stops when he sees her come in.

“What do you think?” He asks nervously. “Be honest. Is it too much? If you don’t like it I can-”

“It’s perfect,” says Devi, moving closer to him. He meets her lips with his own and presses his hands into her waist, walking her backwards towards her bed. She lays back and pulls him down on top of her, so he’s settled between her legs with his hands planted beside her head. He kisses his way down her neck, running his tongue over the spot above her collarbone that he knows drives her wild. Devi throws her head back, and her eyes drift shut when she spies something on the bookshelf next to her.

“What the hell is that!?” she says, shoving Ben off her.

“What’s what?” asks Ben, confused and panicked.

“I thought I saw a red light,” Devi says, fixing her eyes on the shelf. “Like a camera. I think my mom might be monitoring my room!” She turns to look at Ben who is trying _very hard_ not to laugh.

“I’m serious,” says Devi. “She made some weird comment about knowing everything that goes on in this house and _having eyes everywhere_ – maybe that’s what she meant!”

“Devi,” says Ben carefully. “I know your mom can be a control freak, but she’s not a hide-a-nanny-cam-in-your-room control freak.”

Devi gets off the bed and starts peeking through items on her shelf. There’s nothing there.

“Well?” says Ben. Devi turns and walks slowly back to him, embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “My mom just got in my head.”

“Are you sure that’s all?” says Ben. “You’re not… having doubts?”

“Definitely not,” says Devi, resting her hands on his shoulders. “I’m really glad you’re here… let me show you how much,” she says, grinning. She leans down and kisses him, even more passionately than before, and Ben moans into it. He grabs her legs and pulls her down so she’s straddling him, and he slowly inches her dress straps off her shoulders. He then flips her over so she’s under him, and he picks up where they left off before, kissing his way down her body.

Devi thinks about all the other times they’ve done this, and how now tonight will be different. She thinks about how surreal it is that it’s happening in _her bed_ of all places, where she’s spent so many nights dreaming of this moment, dreaming of Ben, only to be woken by her mother’s blaring voice telling her to get up. It’s then that she remembers something else her mom said – about ringing in the night to make sure Devi’s alone. What if her mom was going to call any minute?? Would she be able to tell that Devi had a boy in her bed?? Or worse, possibly _inside her_!?

“Babe,” whispers Ben, his face hovering over her stomach as he works his way down her body. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing,” lies Devi, badly.

Ben pauses, rolls to his side and props himself up on one elbow, looking at her. “I can tell when your mind is elsewhere,” he says. “You stop moving your lips and hands. You do the same thing if we’re making out before a test.”

“I’m sorry,” she says, exasperated. “I keep thinking about my mom.”

“Whatever works for you,” Ben teases. Devi smiles and hits his shoulder.

“She really freaked me out,” says Devi. “She said she’s gonna call me and I started thinking about how awful it would be if that happened while we were having sex. I’ve thought about tonight _a lot_ Ben, and in no version of it was my mom a part of it.”

Ben tucks a strand of hair behind Devi's ear and she looks at him nervously.

“Could we wait until after she calls?” Devi asks, sheepishly. “It would be before 11pm, she’s always in bed by then. I just think I’ll be able to relax then and we can get back to this,” she says running her hands down Ben’s chest and resting them on his waistband. “And then you’ll have my _full_ attention.”

Ben smiles, cups Devi's face with one hand and kisses her.

They sit up in bed and watch Riverdale on Devi’s laptop, the candles still burning around them as Devi waits for the dreaded phone call. She nestles into Ben’s chest, yawning as the clock ticks by, and before she realises it’s even happening, Ben’s steady heartbeat in her ear lulls her to sleep.

The next morning, Devi wakes up alone in bed, in her wrinkled outfit from the night before. She looks around the room and sees the candles have burned down all the way. She checks her phone. No missed calls from her mom, but one text from Ben.

**BEN: I tucked you in after you fell asleep and let myself out. Please don’t worry – last night wasn’t meant to be. I’ll see you in the morning x**

Devi flops back in bed, horny and disappointed, and curses her mother.

She changes out of last night’s sexy outfit and into her sweatpants and a tee, swapping her lenses for her glasses. She goes downstairs to make cereal when she hears the doorbell. It's Ben.

“I brought croissants,” he says brightly, kissing her on the cheek and following her into the kitchen. “How’d you sleep?” he says.

Devi grumbles as she fetches two plates from a cupboard.

“Babe, I know last night didn’t go to plan…” says Ben.

“Not to plan? Ben, last night was a titanic level of failure. For the first time in 15 years I had the house to myself. It was perfect! My outfit was perfect, you were perfect, the candles were prefect, and then it just-”

“Stop,” says Ben, holding her by the shoulders. “It'll happen eventually! Stop worrying about one night. Besides, I always have a good time with you - with or without our clothes on.”

He grins and releases her shoulders. “Now,” he says, “I say we eat our breakfast and watch the rest of Riverdale before your mom and Kamala get back this afternoon.”

Devi smiles and gives him an appreciate kiss on the cheek. “Fine. What episode did we get up to?” she asks.

“Do you mean up to or including?” asks Ben, in the driest tone imaginable. It takes Devi a second to realise he’s mocking her.

When she does, she puts down her croissant and starts hitting Ben in the arm. He laughs and pushes her back, holding her wrists and locking her between his body and the kitchen counter. His face is inches from hers.

“You look cute,” he says in a low, deep voice, running his eyes over her body.

Devi follows his gaze down and laughs. “Really? _This_ is doing it for you?” she says in disbelief. “My sweatpants and messy hair? You wouldn’t prefer my lingerie from last night?”

“I like you like this” he says. “I like you in anything. Besides, lately, whatever you wear I just want to tear off of you anyway.”

With that sexy comment, Devi locks eyes with him and sees a hunger in his expression, something intense and animalistic that she’s only seen a handful of times before. She leans in to kiss him and within seconds they are making out _hard_. His tongue is in her mouth, her hands are under his clothes and he lifts her onto the counter, settling between her legs. Their kissing becomes more fevered by the second, their moaning and panting increasing until they are both aching, desperate for more.

“Should we go upstairs?” Devi whispers breathlessly between kisses.

“Yeah?” asks Ben, yanking Devi's tshirt over her head.

“Yeah,” says Devi. She slides forward off the counter and pulls him towards her for another kiss, scrunching her hands in his hair, before leading him to her room.

As they take off the last of their clothes and climb into bed naked, Devi breaks their kiss one last time.

“I love you Ben,” she says.

“I love you too,” he says, smiling and pressing his lips against hers.

There’s no candles or rose petals this time, and it’s perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed the epilogue. I put off publishing it for ages because I was worried that it wouldn't live up to people's expectations, but hopefully that's not the case. Thanks again for all your positive comments :)


End file.
